What would YOU do ladies

[Roughquest]

Having tried to contact a certain male person, his mobile keeps coming up network failure, sorry to keep on but I really need to talk with him - I know where he lives, but I cannot just turn up unannounced, I would hate that, but what would you do, phone his home number, visit off spec or write a letter ?
TIA
RQ x

[redcrx]

why cant you turn up unannounced?
Has he changed his mobile number so that you cant get in touch? Is there a reason why he doesnt want you to get in touch or why you need to talk to him?

[Joe_the_Lion]

If you have his home number, how is that different from ringing his mobile. This may come as a shock to you, but when I was young(er) and courting etc, mobiles did not exist!!!!!

Christ, I sound like my father!!!!

[4getmenot]

how long has it been that you cant get through? and who is he to you, a boyfriend, friend....?

[4getmenot]

Ah yes this one
http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Q uestion402453.html
give up, If he wanted to contact you he would.

[4getmenot]

dont tell me you've just been texting?

[Rubyrose]

Wardy - I think it was the word 'courting' that made you sound old! Lol

I'd ring his house... if you need to speak to him then you need to speak to him! He may not even know you are trying to contact him! 9 times out of 10 it is our own paranoia that causes us to think like this! Trust me.. I know! Lol

[redcrx]

oooh, reading that link Id say dont call him!!!

Ive been there and the only way to get over it is not to call at all, dont even try to text. Fill your time with something else and eventually you wont have the urge to call him all the time.

Keep strong girl!!!!!! x

[Trinny]

Hi Roughquest. As much as you want to contact him (I have been there) please dont. As long as you contact him, then he is still in control. So dont let him be.

You deserve so much more, really. And I know this is all easier said than done. Believe me. What helped me was reading, Its called a break up because its broken.

I really do know what you are going through xxxx

[Rubyrose]

Ok... I just read the other link... FORGET EVERYTHING I SAID BEFORE AND DON'T CONTACT HIM!

Take control of the situation before it takes control of you! Everytime you contact him you create a 'push' action and subconciencely you will be pushing him away... DON'T attempt to contact him... it will make him pull away, you feel rubbish and contact him more, him pull away more.. etc! It will only make you feel worse!
DO fill your time with other things and don't contact him at all! I know it will be tough but it will be so worth it in the end when you walk away with your pride intact! Eventually he will realise you haven't tried to contact him and it will slightly damage his ego! You may never know about it... but it WILL damage his ego if you walk away! He MAY even try to contact you and then and only then can you decide what you want to do about it! But for now... walk away, focus on yourself, go for walks, go shopping, have a bath and leave your phone downstairs, fill your time with other things. Remember - No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent!

You could also apply the 3 contact rule! If he tries to contact you.. by text, email, phone etc... you don't reply or contact him back unless he attempts it 3times! For example he would have to send you 2 texts and 1 email before he deserves a reply from you. If he rings you and catches you off guard then talk to him by all means and be polite but end the call after ten minutes and tell him you have to go as you have loads to do.

I know all this sounds hard to do and I am telling you from experience that its very difficult but once you get over that first 'no contact' hurdle... it gets so much easier and you feel so much better!

Good luck.. x

[Rubyrose]

I forgot to add.. that if you don't contact him then you will create a 'pull' reaction and he will feel more drawn to you. Especially if you appear happy, busy and fun.

[Carakeel]

Roughquest, please don't wait around for this guy. Get on with your life. He obviously doesn't feel the need to make any effort on your behalf. So, is he really worth your time? Probably not. However, if you do actually have something you need to speak to him about, why not just drop a note through his letterbox or phone him at home. But try to be casual and relaxed, so he doesn't think you are desperate. Someone who puts no effort into building a relationship or friendship obviously doesn't want either. The right person is most certainly out there for you. So, cheer up and don't let this guy get you down. You deserve better! Big hug :o)

[Roughquest]

We didnt 'break up' as such, there has just been nothing fom him, i have been trying to reach him if just to get some closure, i sent him a few texts over 2 weeks ago and wondered why no reply as his phone has come up network failure, had i known this i would have acted sooner. I guess it is obvious that he doesnt want anything more to do with me, but it would be nice to know why, thats all, i care a lot for him and i know he has very low self esteem so what if we are both too scared to get in touch ? Its a no win situation. Thank you for all your replies thus far, they ll do make sense, but all my friends say go for it and go round to his flat, and I dont know what to do for the best you see.

[Rubyrose]

Ok... I think the best thing you can do if write him a long letter and drop it through his door at a time when you know he isn't home. This way he will definately get it and you wont have to worry about it getting lost in the post. Then if he contacts you, you will get it sorted and if he doesn't then you know its done with and you can move on!
Don't hang on for the sake of closure. Sometimes we don't get it for ages.. and sometimes we dont get it at all... it's just the way life is. Xx

[ummmm]

If somebody wanted to contact you they would. No matter whats wrong with their phone.

I lost my phone once and ended up ringing orange to get just one number off my bill. I said it's the number that I phoned at about 2.30 am on this date. I need it bad. They gave me it......

If he hasn't contacted you in that amount of time you can pretty much safely presume that he doesn't want to know. If you do contact him he'll probably think....jeez man, does she not get the hint.