should maintenance continue?

[bwthyncwrw]

my husband pays maintenance for his son who is nearly 18, however he has informed us that he has 'jacked in' his a levels and has now enrolled in a new college course to do with sport. he is very vague about the details of this course and the qualifications he may attain. he has only said it is equivalent to 3 a levels and we can only take his word for that. we suspect there has been a substantial break between him finishing his original a levels and beginning this sports course. in the circumstances if we can prove this..a) are we still obliged to pay maintenance and b) can we be reimbursed for the period of time he has not actually been in education? also, this maintenance was subject tio a court order. surely there should be some onus on his ex wife to provide us with regular updates as to what their son is doing. should we not have some documentary evidence to this effect? for all we know he could be sitting on his backside playing computer games all day? many thks to whomever can answer these questions

[yummymum]

When he is 18 surely you wont have to pay it anyway?? Why dont you ring the college where he attends and find out the details of this course for yourself, some of these course give them money to attend usually �30 or so for just turning up! so check that out. When is he 18? and surely at 17/18 he is able to get himself a part time job, which wouldnt mean you had to stop paying maintenance but at least he would be getting of his backside

[moonshadow]

First thing to look at is the wording on the court order.If it states the maintenance stops at age 18 or when further education ends whichever comes first, then you have a right to know when he is 18 what he intends to do.If he is in full time education eg. college then you will have to continue paying.It is highly unlikely you will get a reimbursement. It may be wise to consult a solicitor, initially it could be expensive but the ex would legally have to reply to a solicitors letter and prove he is in futher education.If he's not then payments stop and she would have to reapply to the court if at a later date he starts a course again.As for expecting his ex to keep you updated were money is involved "I don't think so" ,speaking from my experience of ex wives she will go for every last penny.The downside to all this is that the son may cut all contact with his father so you must be prepared for that and ask yourselves is it worth it.

[Pippa68]

Up to the age of 19 and in full time education (24 hours or more) and the course is no higher than A level?

Maintenance still has to be paid.

As for what he is doing whilst at college, I am not sure that you requiring documentary evidence is enforceable.

[tiny e.a]

Why should his mother provide you with regular updates as to what this boy is doing, your husband is this boys family and should have a good enough relationship with him to get the information himself. Heaven forbid your husband gives his own flesh and blood a penny more than the courts are making him give hmmm?!

[bwthyncwrw]

'tiny e a' has made a comment (which incidentally does not answer the question in hand whatsoever) without knowing the full circumstances at all of the relationship with his father. perhaps you would like to contact me personally, then having heard the full facts you would wish you hadnt made such a ridiculous assumption. this question / answer page is designed for a purpose and not to be abused by people who get off on passing comment without the full facts.

[tiny e.a]

blardy blah.

[tiny e.a]

"surely there should be some onus on his ex wife to provide us with regular updates as to what their son is doing! should we not have some documentary evidence to this effect?"

By the way, this is your question that I was answering, obviously you couldn't read between the lines so I'll make my answer clearer. No, there should not be some onus on your husbands sons mother to provide you with regular updates as to what your husbands son is doing.

[Pippa68]

It stands to reason that you or your husband can contact the college in question if you can't trust the son or mother to provide updates.

The mother would also have to tell the child benefit office about her sons course in order for her to carry on receiving child benefit for her son.

I did this, and provided proof of the college & course details.

[bwthyncwrw]

thks pippa.....unfortunately they will not furnish us with the college details! on the basis of what you have said, i dont think the child benefits office will tell my husband if his son is in receipt of benefit due to data protection. in any case we have now written to her asking all the above. fingers crossed. all we really want to know is, that if he has finished his a levels early, then taken a break for say 4-8 months before starting the next course, are we obliged to have a reimbursment. simply, can a child enroll in full time education then not attend but still expect to receive maintenance?

[Pippa68]

I have no idea about the reimbursement...have you tried asking the CSA? a *simple* phone call may be all you need to find out. I have been told they can be very efficient regarding enquiries as long as you don't actually use them to pay/receive maintenance!

I would imagine that if the son is waiting for a course to start then maintenance would still have to be paid, as it is hardly his fault the course hasn't started yet. This is just me hazarding a guess...however in the event of him dropping out of a course, it may be a different matter.

[karlpeg]

It�s a fact of life no matter how well you think your relationship with your ex is, they will always punish you one way or another for breaking up the family unit. More so if you have a new family.
The boy is now a man and now is the perfect time for Father and Son to strengthen the relationship. I think the Father needs to talk to the son directly about his ambitions etc. Financially supporting an 18 year old is doing them no good. Just how long should you wipe your children�s back side for? (That�s another thread I guess).

[bwthyncwrw]

thks for your comment, i do agree! however this maintenance is subject to a court order. the csa have advised us that if we can prove he has ended his further education course early in order to pursue another course then yes we can claim a refund for the time he has not actually been to college. as the law stands if a child chooses to stay on to further education you have to pay until either they reach 19 years or ends their education, which ever is sooner.