family law

[boro1986]

My partner and i have recently split and she has took our daughter (11 weeks) with her to live at her parents 30 miles away. She will only let me see her if i travel to her parents and only for an hour a time and under no circumstances let me take her out of her sight or let her stay at mine a few nights a week. How do i stand or what are my choices of joint custody. TIA

[DotH]

joint custody would always be slim, and a baby so young it would be difficult too, but you probably should give them space, stay in touch, don't push it and be there when they need you. If it is bad now you may only make it worse,

[IggyB]

you may well have join parental responsibility for your child as the law was changed in 2003 to allow an unmarried father to gain this on the registration of the birth (provided this was done together), if you have this then you must be involved in the decisions that affect your daughters life, this would include where she lives, schooling, medical treatment etc.
http://www.fnf.org.uk/pro.htm
this is a useful introduction to the law regarding parental responsibility - which is what i think you need to start with.

I would also recommend a visit to a solicitor to gain some proper advice regarding your daughters care

[daftpixie]

Whilst IggbyB is right, I agree with Dot in that you could make things so much worse by going down the legal route just yet. It seems to me that your ex, by not letting you out of her sight with the baby, has got serious issues re trust and keeping her baby close, right now her guard is up and will protect her 'cub' with the ferocity of a tigress. Not that I am saying that she has any reason not to trust you or that I think her actions are right, but your ex will be very fragile at the mo and with such a young baby, very sensitive.

Dot is right, stay in touch, dont push it and take it slowly, build up the trust again that may have been damaged in the split, for whatever reason. The more your partner sees that you are simply there to see your daughter and have no alterior motive, things may improve, as yet its very early days. However, if things dont improve, and get to the point where your access is being refused etc, then think about the legal route, but personally I think you should use that as a worst case scenario route.

[prigmore]

Whatever you do stay calm. My son-in-law 'lost it' with his ex partner because he desperately missed his 4 yr old little girl. In retaliation for this (it was only heated arguement nothing physical) his ex has refused him all contact. I know his little girl adored her father so its so cruel to all. The law takes such a long time and is very biased towards the mother unfortunately. Good luck.

[makhani]

I must say, I think prigmore is biased themselves (probably a women?)...as I believe that the law finally changed in 2003, and is no longer biased towards the mother (at long last!). Your ex obviously cannot stop you seeing your own daughter and the law I believe is now fair for all concerned. You are just as protective over your daughter as your ex is (I'm not going to go down the silly route of lions and tigers...) but your daughter comes first you must remember that. Once you have sorted this out with your ex please take care and I wish you and your daughter a happy life together.