Am i right to be angry......

[happytohelp]

i have a problem and i cant work if im right to be annoyed, all help would be appreciated. i had sort of been seeing a guy a year younger than me for bout 5 months now, just here and there i didnt wnat to commit cause i had been hurt before and he was completely inexperienced and was rushing in with i love you way too soon. We have been texting each other every day since so lonmg ago now and meeting up and i really started to like the guy as well, but yesterday i found out he is started going out with some one. It was a week ago i knew something was up cause he stopped texting, when i was ill too, and then people started telling me bout it, so i confronted him. then last night when i got the news he couldnt see why i was upset. its not cause im not happy for him,for me it was that he was too much of a coward to telll me and that he hid it. What do you think?? :(

[el duerino]

he probably thought you weren't interested cos you wanted to take things slower. How old are you two? I'm guessing not that old. it sounds like even you are not sure whether you had a proper relationship either - 'sort of been seeing'? He was likely even less sure and saw no problem going out with someone else. Clearly a lack of communication going on here. You could both start getting angry but it wouldn't solve anything. Personally I would go and see him face to face and ask why he acted the way he did. You might find out more than whether you have a right to be angry.

[happytohelp]

you're right, im 18 he is 17, it is all really silly and i know im to blame too, probably just bruised ego. Thanks

[woofgang]

happy to help, your response to the last posting sounded pretty grown up to me. There are no rights and wrongs to feelings, you just feel them. If you can, its probably a good idea to let go and move on, smile at the guy when you see him and wait for someone who is ready to move at the same pace as you.

[andy hughes]

Sound advice from my colleagues. I suspect the level of your anger is in proportion to the amount that you like the guy - quite a lot I think. It does sound like a communication breakdown rather than deliberate deception on his part, but if you feel you want resolution on this, try and have a chat with him, but make sure you don't get into a row. If you are happy to put it down to experience, then you can move on.

[undercovers]

we have all been hurt before but unfortunately you have to keep taking risks with your heart or you'll just end up staying the same, as guys are mostly rubbish about reading signals he will have taken your slowly slowly approach as a "lets just be friends", so will have put himself out on the market again - so be his friend and next time take the chance and have fun while your at it

[Pishdecoof]

Hmm, difficult. You were taking things nice and gently and he was keeping his options open. It seems as if he didn't really see you as properly 'going out', but was still open to the possibility. I suppose he can't have been that keen otherwise he would have made his feelings clearer. It looks like you may have been Plan B, something to fall back on. He was more than likely aware that he was leading you on into greater feelings of intimacy when it wasn't reciprocated but carried on none the less. So for that you have the right to be angry. And yes, I do think he was a coward for just cutting you off as soon as he found someone else. He IS very young though, and probably very immature. As you get more experienced in matters of the heart, you'll learn to recognise when someone isn't all that into you, and then you can decide not to bother - after all you deserve to be with someone who thinks you're the bees knees.

[WoWo]

To put it simply, he was keen, you gave him the brush off so he went elsewhere. I don't think you have too much to be angry about as you set this up yourself. I'm not trying to have a go at you, just saying that as he was keen if you had shown interest he would have responded. I know you didn't want to get hurt but this is what you risk if you try and keep people hanging around.