Wedding days

[betty3000]

I haven't been to a wedding before so don't really know what the day entails which is why I want to ask peoples opinion on this situation. I have been invited to a wedding at which my boyfriend is the bestman. I know the bride a bit but not that much, and some people there but still not very well. But I have only been invited to the reception afterwards and not the actual wedding. I don't mind the whole not being invited bit that doesn't offend me, I know there are limited spaces in the church, its just that I will have to turn up at the reception on my own, it is also far from home so not that I will be at my own house. I kind of mentioned this is my bf but he just laughed it off. I know he will be busy with bestman things on the day, I just wanted to know if anyone knew what other people do in this situation.

[xhxmxsx]

the only thing you can really expect him to do is meet you outside when you arrive so he can walk you in and introduce you etc

[betty3000]

Cheers for your suggestion I hadn't really thought of that....deh

Do you think I can expect him to do that when he has Best man things to do?? I don't really now what happens at weddings. :-s

[chazza]

Are you invited for the meal or just the night do?

If it is just the night time thing, most of his official duties will be over by then and he will be able to spend more time with you, and others as well, in a social capacity.

If you are invited for the meal, he will probably have to sit at the "top table" with the main wedding party, whereas you will be in with the rest of the guests.

I would arrange a time to meet him outside, or tell him to have his phone on vibrate so that he can meet you outside when you text him. He could easily slip out for a minute to meet you so long as it wasn't during the speeches or any other vital part of the day

[Big Jenny]

I think it's a bit "off" that the happy couple have asked your bf to be best man, and not invited you to the whole wedding. Rather bad-mannered of them, really.

BJ

[nat_84]

I agree with BJ - i'd be pi$$ed off if i wasnt invited to the wedding and my boyfriend was bestman. I think its really rude!

I suppose it depends on how long you've been together...?

But everything i'm invited to my boyfriend is too - and vice versa, especially family events or special occasions.

But yeah i'd meet him at the Church when they're all leaving.

[Psychick]

If you have to meet him at the venue of the reception later, ask in advance if it would be ok for you to take a friend or maybe a relative. That way, if your bf is busy, as he would probably have to mingle a bit and give a speech at some point, you have someone there to keep you company.
Also, it means you don't have to feel awkward about walking in alone or find yourself sitting on your own bored.

[cruella]

Hi betty30000
The normal procedure is to invite a guest and partner to the wedding, especially if he is to be "Best Man"
If the reception is to be held in a hotel, why not book into the hotel for the weekend.That way, you will be around most of the day and be able to join your boyfriend in the evening at the reception.
That way, it would be a nice break for you both.
Hope you enjoy it!

[oldmegan]

I really don't think you should beat yourself up over this. As some of the others have said, it is really bad manners to expect your bf to be best man and not include you in the whole day. The suggestion of booking a room at the hotel is excellent. You will be on the spot and not have to drive or travel there on your own. But how much difference would it make to the whole day for you to take up one extra seat in the church? Don't worry about it, they are at fault, not you! xx

[spudqueen]

If the service is in a Church then there's no way anyone can stop you going to the service as the Church is open for ALL comers. If you are invited to the reception after the service I would go to the Church then on to the reception. If you are only invited to the evening do then I'm afraid there's not a lot you can do except wait until the evening (could still show your face at the Church though - it would show willing).

[CheekyChops]

Personally if my bf was best man at a wedding where I didn't know anyone very well, I wouldn't want to go to the church or day 'do'. He will be busy with best man duties and I would be sat like a lemon, not knowing anyone! I would be perfectly happy meeting him later for the evening reception.

In fact, thinking about it I have done it, about 15 years ago. My bf of the time was usher at his brothers wedding and his sister was one of the bridesmaids. I was sat at the front of the church with his parents (first time I had met them) and as the bride came down the aisle followed by his sister as bridesmaid, his sister turned round and hissed to her mum 'Who is THAT?'...

Before the wedding, we had gone round to his parents house where he promptly disappeared to the pub with the men for a pre-wedding drink and left me with his mum.

And at the reception he went on the p!ss with his mates and left me with his mum and dad again and his sister just kep glaring and never spoke to me once!

Just to add, he didn't last long after that...

[chazza]

I agree cheekychops, I did bridesmaid for a friend a couple of years ago an arranged with her that my bf only came to the evening do, after the meal.

I dont think he would have liked sitting through a ceremony, speeches and meal with people he didn't know while I sat at the top table with my friends!

[ayla99]

I went to a wedding where my then bf was best man. I did know the bride & groom but nobody else and felt a bit lost most of the time.

Mind you, i had a lot going against me at the time - bf was an idiot - copied someone else's speech including the bit about did she have any gorgeous sisters for him to meet (!)

Love the idea about booking into the hotel, i'd do that.