Adult children contributing to household costs

[jane1956]

Does anyone have any advice on what would be reasonable to charge my grown up children for household expenses when they return to living at home? My daughter has a good job following University but wants to live at home for a year or two while she get's herself sorted financially. My son is in the Navy and is well paid but comes home every weekend, often has his girlfriend to stay and brings all his washing too. I don't want to make money from them and love having them here but don't see why I should be out of pocket!

[skyep]

jane - Does your son contribute? I have just started to charge my son keep. He is 19, was doing part time work & we said as soon as he got full time work he would have to contribute. We are asking 100.00 a month of him ( 25.00 ) a week, which by todays standards is nothing. It all depends on your situation, you need to find a realistic amount they can afford to pay you. You need to be fair with everyone, consider a daily amount of each, so that your son & girlfriend can pay individual amounts as well as your daughter. So say you ask 5.00 per day off each adult, for your daughter, that would be 35.00 a week - 140.00 a month. For your son & girlfriend Sat/Sun would be 20.00 or 80.00 a month. What do you think?

[kittywoo]

hi when i moved back home with my daughter my mum charged me �70 per week i was working part time and could well afford that as well as saving for a place of my own.. it depends if she is saving to buy the question is how long do you want her there? my mum loved having us but it got to much in the end always arguing about silly things as she found it difficult not to have her space anymore! however my sister lived at home till she was 27 with no problems and paid �200 a month. but if you charge your daughter you will have to charge your son to be fair! hope this helps!

[Pippa68]

Apparently it should be a third. That way it's a third in keep, a third to save and a third to spend..usually this works well :o)

[skyep]

Hi - I agree with kittywoo that my calculations are at the low end of what the average person would have to pay by todays standards. My way of thinking is, if you can afford to live off the total calculations per month off everyone, then it isn't an unreasonable amount to ask them for & they can't complain at all! On the other hand, if it isn't enough, just up the amounts per day off each person. As I said, it totally depends on ' your ' situation, what you are providing - bed/food/washing ect... Don't feel you are being unreasonable asking for contributions. I have probably been too soft in the past, but we wanted to give him a bit of a start. Now, his money will help us out.

[annie0000]

The last time I paid digs was 22 years ago when I was 18, I had an income of about �240 per month and I got the choice of paying �15 per week, or �60 per month - I was absolutely fine with this, and I bought my first flat not long later. I think that whether you need the money or not, it is best to charge something so that they get used to paying for their keep - if you don't need the money, then save it for them then give it back to them when they get their first place.

[Solarjunkie]

What about charging the local going rate for a bedsit? A bit like the real world, but a bargain if it includes food/washing/phone line/TV licence/loo roll/aspirin/shoe polish/gas/mending/provision of furniture, garden, lighting, and all the other things that loving parents provide!

[KenR]

I can relate to what annie0000 said. When I first started working I was a 16 year old office junior/apprentice and pretty poorly paid. However, I tried to give my dad what I believed was a fair going rate for my keep, but he came to the arrangement with me of 20% of my take home pay. This was less than I had tried to pay, but he said this was a good deal for him as the manager of the beatles only got 10%. This arrangement satyed until I left home. When he died many years later this high interest account turned up in trust for me... every penny I had paid him for my keep was in it.
Choked up here now remembering LOL

[Pippa68]

Oh crikey, Ken ~ that choked me up too!

What a fabulous dad... :o)

[annie0000]

Now I have to go back to the "when was the last time you cried" question on B&S! - I don't believe what a sap I am - why are old people so cute!

[Liza B]

I think the fairest was is to add up all your household bills and divide between the amount of people in the house, that way everyone is paying the same regardless of wages. You could divide that into a daily amount, so your son pays a fair sum as well. When you have your own place you still pay the same amount, no matter how much your wages are.
I have been thinking about this for a while as my 17 year old twins have just left school and looking for jobs, I have decided not to charge them until they earn over �75 a week, and not to include the morgage as I feel it is our place to pay towards that, (others may no be able to afford to do that) personal choice really.I also plan to put half of the money they give me into an account to help them when they set up home as we all know how expensive that can be, but I am not telling them until they need.

[jane1956]

Thank you everyone for all your advice. I have decided to base charges on �200 a month which seems to be the sort of level that some of you mentioned, then a sliding scale for weekends/girlfriends etc. The weekend charge needs to be a bit more than 2/7ths as it includes doing all the week's wash and generally being around the house and eating a lot more than on weekdays. I will probably put some of the money they pay in a savings account and use it to help pay for weddings, house purchases etc in the future. That way I won't miss the money when they eventually move out permanently.

[happyskyper]

They are your children and by this virtue you are going to be out of pocket where they are concern for as long as you/they exist.

Charging your children in my opinion sets a bad precedent and is a fundamental no no in my books. If you couldnt afford them then you shouldnt have had them (that includes any potential grandchildren too).

one day you might find yourself alloooone in a stinky old peoples home because you could at that time be putting your kids out of pocket and they could see no good reason to have you around especially as you have alzhimers and can not even remember anything about them but some old tennats agreement. Oh and they sold your house without consulting you. After they argued ab out it and decided never to speak to one an other again.

It does happen and it all starts with charging your kids rent..

perhaps it is cultural as I am not british!?

It is nice if they help in some way and contribute by their own insistence but for money to exchange hands between them and you>>>> no no..

If they are selfish you should point out to them as all good parents would and insist that next time they want mum to sort out the washing for them they are gona have to treat mum for a day at the spa.. dinner.. etc plus you dont want to be goping alone.. brother / sister comes too..

this way you get to do something fun and in turn your bonds become stronger and more meaningful.

[happyskyper]

Ken R...

Your dad sounds like a top geezer.

They way things used to be and should always be!!

While the rest of the world is debating 75 squid 80 perhaps more if washing included etc. and all that other LOGICAL
cr*p.. I would like to take my hat off to your dad.

"The fool knows price of everything but value of nothing"

Keep that in mind people!