Twenty Two Years And Counting.
ChatterBank1 min ago
temper tatrumns
my 2and half year old has a lot of temper tanturms and his pre- school have sort of in a rounder about way complain about it he start hit childern and them and throw him self and things around i just don`t know what to do for the best to solve the promblem people just jeep say he will grow out of it .
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Tantrums at this time are common in children, and you have to be aware of this stage of development.
Some children are simply pushing the boundaries of their behaviour, in which case, you push back!
If he is simply throwing himself around at home, and screaming, ignore him. Walk out of the room, but stay in ear shot. Once the attention he is seeking is removed, the reason for the tantrum is removed, and after a few times, he will realise that this is going to be your reaction, and he will stop doing it.
If he tries to hit you, you need to be cxonsistant in your reaction. Crouch down to his level, hold both his hands, hold eye contact, and say "That's NAUGHTY! NO!" and then tell him he has to go and sit on the stairs / in his bedroom for two minutes.
He will of course move straight off the stair, or out of his room, but be firm, and take him back. Each time he tantrums, tell him he must stay for longer, and increase the time by one minute.
When he has calmed down, make him say sorry, and when he has (and not until he has!) give him a love and say you don't like him shouting, it makes you sad, and give him a love. If he behaves nicely after that, praise him often and let him know that this behaviour is appreciated.
If you maintain this regime, the tantrums will stop.
It takes a firm approach, patience, and a determination not to give in. It's a battle of wills - he is the child, you are the adult - who wins dictates your relationship for the rst of his childhood, so get it right now, save grief later.
Children learn acceptable and unacceptable behaviour at this time - and the lessons he learns with you now will carry forward into school, adolescence and even adult life.
Good luck!
Some children are simply pushing the boundaries of their behaviour, in which case, you push back!
If he is simply throwing himself around at home, and screaming, ignore him. Walk out of the room, but stay in ear shot. Once the attention he is seeking is removed, the reason for the tantrum is removed, and after a few times, he will realise that this is going to be your reaction, and he will stop doing it.
If he tries to hit you, you need to be cxonsistant in your reaction. Crouch down to his level, hold both his hands, hold eye contact, and say "That's NAUGHTY! NO!" and then tell him he has to go and sit on the stairs / in his bedroom for two minutes.
He will of course move straight off the stair, or out of his room, but be firm, and take him back. Each time he tantrums, tell him he must stay for longer, and increase the time by one minute.
When he has calmed down, make him say sorry, and when he has (and not until he has!) give him a love and say you don't like him shouting, it makes you sad, and give him a love. If he behaves nicely after that, praise him often and let him know that this behaviour is appreciated.
If you maintain this regime, the tantrums will stop.
It takes a firm approach, patience, and a determination not to give in. It's a battle of wills - he is the child, you are the adult - who wins dictates your relationship for the rst of his childhood, so get it right now, save grief later.
Children learn acceptable and unacceptable behaviour at this time - and the lessons he learns with you now will carry forward into school, adolescence and even adult life.
Good luck!
I totally agree with everything andy has said ( he could write a book!)
However, there is a couple of things I would do slightly different. The being the routine of the step/bedroom. The naughty step is a brilliant idea but I think using the bedroom as an area for "time out" isnt a good idea. Im guessing he has toys in his room that he will probably just sit and play with? You should just use the step for this and stick to this. The idea is you place them somewhere as a form of punishment so using somewhere where they can play or a room they associate with bedtime isnt such a good idea. Also, everytime you put them to bed, they will think they have done wrong even when they havent.
I have found that the best reward is always praise. Kids love it! It makes them feel so good and gives them a sense of achievement. Like andy has said, ignore the bad behaviour, reward the good. Even if it is something simple like remembering to say please without being prompted....praise them on their good manners.
Im sure his pre-school didnt mean it as a complaint, just letting you know what is happening. If you sit and have a chat with them, they will probably be more than happy to help anyway they can whilst he is with them.
Good luck!
However, there is a couple of things I would do slightly different. The being the routine of the step/bedroom. The naughty step is a brilliant idea but I think using the bedroom as an area for "time out" isnt a good idea. Im guessing he has toys in his room that he will probably just sit and play with? You should just use the step for this and stick to this. The idea is you place them somewhere as a form of punishment so using somewhere where they can play or a room they associate with bedtime isnt such a good idea. Also, everytime you put them to bed, they will think they have done wrong even when they havent.
I have found that the best reward is always praise. Kids love it! It makes them feel so good and gives them a sense of achievement. Like andy has said, ignore the bad behaviour, reward the good. Even if it is something simple like remembering to say please without being prompted....praise them on their good manners.
Im sure his pre-school didnt mean it as a complaint, just letting you know what is happening. If you sit and have a chat with them, they will probably be more than happy to help anyway they can whilst he is with them.
Good luck!
I wouldn't know Elvis 68 - I've never seen an episode of Supernanny.
I don't agree Elvis - a smack should be used, if at all, in an instance of seriously bad behaviour, when a sharp instant message is required. Smacking consistently to adjust behaviour simply instills an association of smacks with tantrums, but no real pattern of replacing bad hehaviour with good.
I would just add though twinsein - try to avoid situations when your child s just screaming. and not hearing the discipline you are talking about. In that case, walk away until he calms down, and can be talked to. There is no point in him shrieking, and you talking, gets nowhere. The only good discipline is that which he hears, understands, and assimiliates.
Again, good luck.
I don't agree Elvis - a smack should be used, if at all, in an instance of seriously bad behaviour, when a sharp instant message is required. Smacking consistently to adjust behaviour simply instills an association of smacks with tantrums, but no real pattern of replacing bad hehaviour with good.
I would just add though twinsein - try to avoid situations when your child s just screaming. and not hearing the discipline you are talking about. In that case, walk away until he calms down, and can be talked to. There is no point in him shrieking, and you talking, gets nowhere. The only good discipline is that which he hears, understands, and assimiliates.
Again, good luck.
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