name change

[pixiepie]

my daughter wants to add her step fathers name to her surname. We have asked her fathers permission about fthis but he has told us no way.Tried to explain she would still have his name first but he still hit the roof. She is very upset about this. i was wondering if there is anyway we could do it without his permission. Thanks

[Whickerman]

Why would you try deny that child her identity? The step-father is not her father, and it sounds like the real father is still in the picture. I hope for all concerned's sake there is no way to do this.

[bednobs]

how old is your daughter?

[pixiepie]

im not denying my daughter her father she loves him very very much and sees him every other weekend. she considers herself to have 2 dads as she has lived with her step father since being 2 she is now 7 and has wanted to add to her name for a while now. She would end up with a double barreled name. Whickerman you sound a little bitter to me

[Whickerman]

far from it. But I have a daughter who has a stepdad, and I'd never ever allow that happen. It would feel like you're signing away fatherhood - sorry, it just would.

[B00]

I can see where whickerman is coming from. It must be heartbreaking for a man to know that another is more or less bringing up his child. Maybe he feels that the taking of another surname, whether it's incorporated with his or not, is rubbing his face in it a bit.

[stokeace]

pixie im not trying to sound horrible but im a dad with my daughter living apart from me my ex is with someone else and it would hurt me deeply if my daughter [she is 8] tried to add my exes partner name to hers.its a man thing i guess are you sure you are not trying to hurt your ex by trying to do this?so whats with having a double barrelled name?its not posh you know........

[pixiepie]

my only concern is for my daughter to be happy. I also have a son with my ex and he wants to keep his name which is fine with his step dad and i. My daughter wants to have both names of her fathers. Not trying to hurt my ex at all we are usually very good friends and everyone gets on including partners. Her name will change when and if she marries. It takes a lot more than a name to be a dad

[stokeace]

pixie i understand that you want your daughter to be happy and that is commendable but as you say you are usually good friends why would you want to jeapordise that?things could get nasty if your daughter adds your partners name why jeapordise such a seemingly calm scenario?i hope things turn out ok for you all and none of you do anything too rash...

[bednobs]

also if your daughter is 7 are you sure she came to you with this, or did you put the idea in her head? 7 seems a bit young to be thinking about changing your name

[dot.hawkes]

You can use any name you like as long as it is not for illegal purposes. If she wants to add a surnamw she can, but if she is still at school they would probably not recognise it , but over time with use, by the time she is an adult she will have ewstablished the use of the name andshe would not need permission to use it. i suggest she does this and see how it works out. If her father's name is on her birtth certificate then he has the4 right to refuse permission for any legal name change , if he isn't because yoiu were unmarried at the time of her birth and he failed to attend the register ofice to register her bith, she does not need his permission for anything unless there isd a subsequent court order.

[Le Chat]

I have a son and when I remarried, I just tagged my new husband's surname onto the end of his surname. Officially, he still just has the one surname but in school and in general life he is double barrelled. Both surnames do sound like they should fit together anyway.
The twist to my story is that I also have the double surname and my youngest son from my second marriage does too! So he has the surname of my ex husband and my present husband! My present husband just has his own surname alas!

[pixiepie]

hi le chat
thanks for your reply think thats the route will will take to be honest

[gina32]

i had the same problem with my daughter so i gave her both names, as someone said, as long as you arent doing it for illegal reasons it doesn matter, the school should accept it, my daughters did, along with a lot of other people.

[Cockney_si]

I understand what you're trying to do and I still have my fathers surname although my parents divorced when I was a child. I know my dad is a horible person so question is whether I change my name or not too.....

if you wait until she is 18 and then see if she wants to change it by deedpoll or something. Or alternatively get her to marry someone and inherit their name.

[Bohne]

Whickerman: My son does not have my husband's (his father's) name, does that mean, he gave up fatherhood???
I think being a father means a little more than just giving the child your name!

I think you way of thinking is a little selfish, as is the father's of pixiepie's daughter.