living in a mess

[sleepy1]

could you tell some one that there house is a mess the kids are dirty ....if you knew some one was living like this would you tell them ..........i dont mean report them ...what would you say to make them clean up with out being rude ..????

[Vanilla Face]

Go on about this new cleaning product you've recently bought which works a treat and that they should give it a go!

[Vanilla Face]

And in the kids' case, this new product would be shower gel/shampoo!

[B00]

Errr no, it's none of your business.

As long as the kids are happy and well cared for, apart from dirty obviously, does it really matter?

Just make a point of not visiting often- lol.

[moonshadow]

Sounds as if they need help, if it's someone you know well ,I would roll your sleeves up and get stuck in.Quite a lot of the time people judge too quickly without knowing the circumstances.There can be a number of reasons such as depression.

[Octavius]

My sister went through a bad patch for a number of years (won�t go into details) and I asked her why she lived like she did, and did she not have any pride in her house and her appearance and the children�s upbringing. All resolved now thankfully.

A very good friend of mine lives in a run down house that smells of damp and cigarettes and is rarely clean. Even to the point of consistently finding cigarette stubs on the floor everywhere, skid marks in the toilet and pubic hairs around the sink. He thinks his house is fine but I have told him that it is fine if he is happy to live like that, but not so if he expects people to visit for dinner and stay over. Needless to say, nobody stops over and he still hasn�t got the message � but its his life. He does wonder though, why he is still single.

[4getmenot]

no i WOULDNT ITS there family and they can live how they want, I would only get involved if the children were being harmed in any way

[4getmenot]

or failing that just apply for them to be on how clean is your house and see their faces when kim and aggie arrive :-)

[kate1976]

No I wouldn't, it's none of my business how people live! I have people on at me all the time (mainly family) because of a bit of clutter, not much but too much for them apparantly, but so long as I'm clean and my child is clean (we are) and the house is clean, it may be cluttered but it's clean, then so be it!

I must admit I do have some days where I look at some of the stuff (especially in my bedroom corner) and think 'oh no I'll never be straight' but I can live with it, so long as I dust, shine and hoover then Kim & Aggie would be proud!

[Surreylass]

My friend has 3 kids and is the most dirtiest housekeeper ever. its shocking but the kids dont even have beds, just mattreses on the floor which do not even have linen on alot of the time. I have cleaned, decoratd and paid out a fortune on her house but its shortlived and it goes back to normal.

i have known her for years through a friend and we both try to help. i buy the kids school uniforms every year cos their mother loses them in the piles of clothes. it is shocking but she loves them. dinner is super noodles most of the time.

I honestly wish social services would knock on the door as it has gone on like this for years but i cant report it. her kids, whilst embarassed, love her so difficult one - you just do what you can to help.

[smudge]

If it's a friend, then I wouldn't poke my nose in - unless of course she/he appears to be suffering with depression &/or the kids were being neglected or harmed in any way.

If it were either of our daughters living in the way you describe, I would ask if they needed any help. Being their Mum & the fact that we're very close, I have done this in the past when they've been poorly.

Having said that, they are both clean & the grandkids are well looked after. Yes, there may be toys & creative art stuff from their hobbies scattered here & there, but they live quite happily with that.

[smudge]

Surreylass - that's the problem, if people are naturally dirty or untidy, nothing anyone can say or do will change them.

You could slog your guts out tyring to help & make it look all nice, clean & presentable, but within a week or so it'd be back to 'normal'.

[4getmenot]

and sometimes its not just because they are natural untidy sometimes people just dont have the time

[smudge]

4get - I wasn't talking about general untidiness, as we can all be guilty of that, especially when busy with other things.

I meant if it was in their nature to be dirty or untidy, full stop. Meaning when they have the time, but simply don't notice the dirt or the mess!

It's just a way of life for some people - hence the Kim & Aggie programme as someone mentioned earlier. I've only watched it a couple of times, but had to switch over - all that filth, grease & grime made me feel quite sick!

[Black Noir]

Ask them whether they have got house insurance - if yes - accidently drop a fag butt down the back of the sofa, that should take care of the mess.

or send their details to Extreme makeover home edition?

[fraggle08]

Don't say anything, just turn up at the house with a clothes peg on your nose and leave a copy of Stig of the Dump on her coffee table (if you can find it!)
Seriously though, some people are way too obsessed with a 'clean' house and their kids are probably suffering more from all the toxic carcinogenic cleaning products.
its about striking a balance that is right for you, and if you're happy and the nippers are happy & healthy then who cares!

[smudge]

Exactly fraggle - striking a balance for all who live there!

(Until they're teenagers of course - aaarrrggg)!!!! ;o}

lol Black Noir!

[sleepy1]

thanks some very good answers i could not say nothing to her .feel sorry for the kids but they seem happy enough .so thats the main thing . even with flea bits on them yuck .

[smudge]

Ah, poor little mites (pardon the pun).

Hope things work out better for the kids as they get older.

[society]

If we are both each others friend then I being a real and true friend will tell her and offer to help her with some elbow grease. The kids are getting big. This is not a good example for them, they will grow with the mentality that it's ok to have a crappy and filthy looking home. One does not have to be rich to be clean and sanitary.