can i manhandle my 16 yr old daughter?

[mrsangry]

my 16 yr old girl has met another who is always in trouble and takin drugs, she has been to court where i was fined basically, since she has tried to run off with a 26 yr old drug dealer and her friend, i phoned the police and was told there is nothin i can do because shes 16, last nite they stole a car and crashed, i found out thro a friend who'd seen them, they were drunk, i phoned the police to report them and they didnt care only to tell me i should have more control over my daughter! ok last week they were tellin me i couldnt physically stop her now their tellin me too. wot is the law on this? can i drag her in the house ? they want you to take control but wont allow you to have it. they didnt do anything last nite except threaten me with a visit for shoutin at them!

[B00]

How can they fine you for not taking control of your daughter and then say she's an adult so therefore they are unable to do anything? Totally bloody screwy!

Anyway, sorry, back to your original question, no I don't think you can or should manhandle her. She's old enough and capable enough to hit you back, and then you're faced with an even worse situation.

I'd be tempted to sit her down, and tell her that she's an X amount of time to respect you,and your house rules or you'll have no choice but to throw her out- maybe that will bring her to her senses?

I really feel for you, my daughter's nearly 19 and has pulled some spectacular stunts herself in the past, in fact she still does. To the point you say to yourself "where the hell did I go wrong?". The simple answer, in the cold light of day is that we didn't, they are just pushing the boundaries, much as we did at that age.

Your daughter will eventually grow out of this rebellious stage (I'm still telling myself the same thing, it has to be true- doesn't it??)

Good luck!

[aims1202]

i think you need to sit down and talk to her like an adult. No more arguing or shouting at each other, if you do!
Let her know you love and care about her but tell her the rules and if she doesnt stick to them there will be consequences and always do what you have said you will.
Even though she'll say she doesnt want to, you need to spend quality time with her doing stuff she likes, just you and her. This will help you stay close and she'll know you love her. You must insist she shows you respect but you have to do the same. If she feels good about herself she may still rebel a bit but is more likely to make good choices in the end.
I think if you get angry and threaten to throw her out she might feel as though you dont want her and might even go. its better to try to build the bond between you, tell her you think she's clever enough to make good choices and she may just do that. she's then more likely to confide in you too. good luck

[dot.hawkes]

I don't understand why the police did niot respond about the car, you should go and see the victim support people at the police station, they should have an idea of what you can do.