Depression-what do I do?

[babybombo]

I am 16 and have suffered from depression within the past year or so.
I was seeing a psychiatrist from December 06 until the end of May this year.
When we talked it was mostly about school and how I wasn't coping with the pressure, but I feel as thought most of the time I was lying to my psychiatrist. I have a strong desire to please people and I really just went along with whatever he said but really things wern't working out for me.
We tried CBT (cognative behavior therapy) but this didn't work.
I started to feel better and thats when the sessions stopped as both my psychiatrist and I felt I no longer needed help from the mental health service. I felt great for about two weeks after this but then things have really just gone back to normal.
I'm having terrible mood swings, Im getting quite bitter about friends and family, I generally cant be botherd with anything and after being messed about a bit by a boy and my friends I have comtemplated suicide quite a few times.
I dont want to go back to the psychiatrist as then I will have to admit to lying the last time, and they may think I was wasting their time.
I really don't know what to do.
P.S sorry for the extremely long-winded explanation !

[jno]

well, what's worse - having a psychiatrist think you're lying, or wanting to kill yourself? I don't think your psychiatrist will imagine you're a liar - he should be able to recognise your behaviour patterns without passing judgment on them. (If he is being judgmental, perhaps you could look for another therapist?) And the more he knows about you the better he should be able to help.

And remember - you don't have to apologise, to your doctor or to AnswerBank, for seeking help! That's what the NHS is there for.

But do try to be honest about your feelings (as you have been in your question). You don't have to please anyone else, you are entitled to put yourself first. The important thing is to get well.

[curiosity]

Hi, I think it's good that you realise whats going on, and I don't think that you need a psychiatrist , you have said it all yourself in your question, "you have a strong desire to please people" and " after being messed about a bit by a boy" are two key factors here. Which going back to your CBT training, think ! You might be able to spot your negative thinking triggered by the lads actions and have now catasphrosized it to include your whole social network and family, meaning you feel like you do. Your mood swings could be caused by your insecure feelings and negative thoughts arguing with the positives you are experiencing, which means CBT is working for you. Or it could be something different, I would definately speak to your GP if I were you, if you don't fel like talking, print this page and ask them to read it. Good Luck

[888sally888]

I agree with the above - dont feel bad - go back and just tel them wat you have told us. No one will judge you and you do need more help.

My teenage daughter suffers from terrible depression and hit an all time low in April. She is a little bit better but I know its a long slow road to recovery.

Does your mum or dad know all that is going on? Are you having any help outside the professional stuff?

My daughter was always told that exercise and a hobby would help as it will give you a purpose. Dont ever consider killing yourself - you deserve better and you will get better. Please let us know what you decide x

[nannon]

You should really go back to see your psychiatrist - i cant tell you the amount of time i put on an act and said i was feeling great - two weeks later going back and breaking down. You should never feel ashamed of going - and he def wont think you are a liar!!!!
you must go back as it was obviously helping. I went to see mine for 6 years - if it works for you - use it!
xxx

[mountainboo]

Hi babybombo. I have been in your siruation before and can relate to your 'wanting to please people'. Throughout my life I used to let people walk all over me, manipulate me and bully me just so that they would like me. I have seen a number of psychiatrists for depression and ocd. My suggestion to you is that you find a different psychiatrist, you dont have to go back to the same one. But definately do it. Possibly go to a psychiatrist that practices hypnotherapy, as sometimes that can be helpful. I'm glad to say that I feel much better in myself since approaching my late 20's and dont care what people think anymore. All the best babybombo

[EngTeach]

Can AB track this and reach someone for this girl???She needs help. This is a serious cry out. The fact that she is reaching out to strangers is dangerous and very last ditch effort.

Babybombo...PLEASE talk your parents right away. They will help you and they love you.

[jno]

EngTeach, I think there's a difference between talking to strangers in the street and asking questions anonymously on a website. Although there's sensibly a warning here about not putting medical reliance on the answers you get, the fact is that ABers have a surprisingly wide range of experiences, including depression. Babybombo may find it helpful that others tell her they have also felt the same way, even if nobody can 'cure' her. The greatest danger, I think, is the occasional troll-like abuse some posts attract; but in such cases other users generally report these and have them removed.

[babybombo]

Thanks to everyone for your responses.

My parents did know about me seeing a psychiatrist and what I was going through but I havn't discussed with them what I'm feeling now.

EngTeach Iam slightly offended by your reply though, I don't think Iam reaching out to strangers, like jno said I want to hear from people who have been in, or know someone who has been in a similar situation.

Its easier for me to talk to people this way, my friends and family all seem to have quite warped views about this sort of thing. Plus my parents are going through a difficult time right now and could probably be doing without the extra strain.

I felt really bad today and was probably the closest I have ever been to suicide, but I came on here, read your replies and have decided to seek some more help. Whether it involves telling my parents...well I havn't decided yet but I probably will.

Thank you so much everyone who replied, especially jno, the question in your first sentence made me realise how I was thinking.

Thank you for your concern EngTeach but an outcry for help is really not what I was trying to accomplish.

Thanks again to everyone. xxx