What is he playing at?

[Goodsoulette]

I have a friend who is very sweet and kind. When he was younger he was definitely a self harmer as I have seen the scars on his arms and some of them are pretty horrendous. I have just taken that he is prone to periods of depression. When we first became errr friends, I didn't really think anything of it and he showed no signs of still being inclined top periods of depression. Then a few months ago the late night texts saying things like " Whats wrong with me? Why ant I get a PROPER girlfriend" etc started. These then rapidly deteriorated into stuff like " I just cant take it anymore" Now of course these concerned me..... so I would text back and tell he is a good guy etc etc and in the morning he would apologise and say he shouldn't drink cause it gets him like this. Last night I got a text saying " I just want everything to end x" and despite my best efforts it got worse... and the last ext I got was "ah **** it. This life thing sucks, I've put up with it for too many years x" I have heard nothing since, I put a delivery report on the last text I sent him and it got there at 8 am, which suggests he was probs working last night and not drinking at all. Why does he do this? Sorry its so long but its bothering me now that he might actually go and do something stupid and if he succeeds someone is going to say to me, well why didnt you do anything? I am also going out of mind that he hasnt got back to me since that last message.

[Skreecheeboy]

I think you think a lot less of sex than he does and he's probably hurt that your night(s?) of passion didn't turn into a serious relationship. Sorry for reading between the lines, I could be completely wrong but it sounds like he thinks he can't live without you. I'd suggest limiting communications with him and trying to remain aloof. He will get over it, he's not the first person to have been cold shouldered and he won' t be the last.

[Goodsoulette]

Alright Skreech.

If I ask him whats up he always says stuff like.... I think I've fallen for this other girl and cant do anything about it. I thought it was possibly to do with our friendship before hand but I dont think its me now. The only time he will tell me he likes me is when he is drunk and I cant read anything into that cause he wont do it when hes sober.

[China Doll]

I don't think anyone would ask you why you didn't do anything GS. It's not your responsibility. If you do still have concerns that he's hurt himself, is there someone else you could contact to pop round and see him?

Generally if someone is going to end it all they just do it. They don't f@rt @rse about discussing it with someone else. At best it sounds like a cry for help from him and at worse a selfish, attention seeking act.

Either way he needs help that you can't give him. Do you have any contact with his family? Or a mutual close friend? It might be an idea to have chat with them and just let other people know what's going on with him and don't take it all on yourself.

[B00]

I'm with CD (well, as close to her as you can get without fainting, she pongs a bit, but that's another story....) Do you think he's maybe just attention seeking? in a kind of "pay attention ME or I'll self harm again" type of way? As Cd so rightly said, he's not your responsibility, I'm presuming you have enough of your own?

Contact his other friends and or family, pass the buck!

[Goodsoulette]

Well I have heard from him and probably did completely the wrong thing. I asked him if he was OK. He told me he was confused so I said he could come over tonight if he needed to.

I'm gonna tackle him about it all.

I don't know his family at all and I don't really know his friends.

[tiny e.a]

I agree with China Doll and Boo, it sounds more like a cry for help than a genuine wish to kill himself, however, that doesn't take away from the fact that he may genuinely be suffering from depression at the moment.

It must be really hard for you to listen to a friend talk this way, don't worry about whether or not you are saying the right things, it sounds like you are doing all you can to be there for him and nobody will expect you to do more than that. I know that it can be very frustraing when friends act this way because it demands so much of your time and efforts in worrying and checking that their okay, so awful don't feel bad if you find yourself getting p!ssed off with it. It's natural.

As long as he know you are there for him you are doing enough. Try to dissuade him from becoming to dependant on you though and don't be afraid to tell him how you feel about what he's doing either. Perhaps suggest he revisit a doctor or a councillor?

Good luck with tonight and with all the times you try tohelp him. Like others have said though, however bad he may get it is his depression, it is nothing that you are saying or not saying or doing or not doing.

[Skreecheeboy]

He needs to get out more and stop hounding you for sympathy if you ask me. I know it's hard to wash your hands of somebody you care about but he must have other mates. Stop taking it all on yourself, you've got your own sh1t to worry about! Just tell him that if he can't love himself, who's gonna love him. Worked for me when I was slightly manic depressive, wallowing in self pity is probably all he knows and providing sympathy is just going to hinder him getting better as you're letting him stay in his comfort zone by giving him what he's looking for. It's not till he gets out of his comfort zone that he'll start to learn stuff.

[Skreecheeboy]

The stuff I was refering to was better coping mechanisms. I've a bad habit of getting distracted and hitting submit without thinking.