My 16yr old son wants to move out

[rmadhensley1]

My 16yr old son came to us out of the blue and said he wanted to move into his friends house. We do not know what has brought this on and all he says is he doesn't like himself when he is in our house. He doesn't like the way he acts or they way he feels. His friend lives in this house with three of her friends and her mom does not live there. His friend is 2 yrs older than him (18) and she does have rules about going to school and no smoking or drinking. I am 100% positive she is just a friend and that there is nothing funny going on. I think he just likes being there because there is no one there to tell him what to do. The lack of supervision has me very concerned. I have been letting him stay there for awhile this summer hoping that he would get tired of it and want to come home, but that has not happened. Now he wants to start the school year while living there. I am very concerned and want him to come home. No sure how to handle this one

[DC_FC]

Surely if no one will tell him what to do in this house he wants to move into then he'll get into the habit of not doing what hes told, is it not better if he were to stay at home,

how will he pay for his share of the rent, bills, food etc, have you asked him about this

[boobesque]

Well if he is that insistent on going then i am afraid you cant do much. I ran away at 16 and the police said i was old enough.
I moved into a houseshare too, but i had already left school.
Do any of his friends live there and still go to school? That could prompt him to keep studying too.
Can't offer more than that but good luck!

[mycats]

I left home at 14 and went wild *blush* but I did calm down eventually honest.
Doesnt sound like there is much you can do to be honest. He might go, have fun, then realise that no one is giving him money, buying shopping, cleaning up after him etc and want to come home

[radiogaga]

hows about suggesting a trial period? perhaps 1 month then when the time has elapsed you could meet up and discuss how you all have found things
in that time he will have realised he's on his own two feet financially and responsable for cooking / doing his own washing etc and maybe the novelty will have worn off.
good luck is all i can say. radio. x

[mycats]

Whats he going to live on? If he moves out you dont have to give him money. Did he think of that?

[scoobydooby]

Quite clearly, the answer here is about money. True, there's nothing you can really do as he's 16. However, you could tell him that whilst you'd rather he was with you, you appreciate he's turning into an adult and if he wants to move out, you'll accept it's his decision. I suspect that when you ask him how he's going to support himself financially, he'll have to stop and think! Make it quite clear that if he's grown up enough to move out then he's grown up enough to support himself. If you really want him with you then you would be very silly to give him any money at all. These teenagers think we're made of money don't they? Good Luck

[juleejules]

Do you trust your son, the way you have raised him and how you think he will behave? I've have always said to my three that I'll trust them until they do something to make me have to think differently - so they have perhaps had a lot of give (but I always waited up until they have arrived home safely!). And not once have I been let down by them! They let me know if they won't be home, gosh - it's really hard when they have a car, but trust is everything! Let your son stay there so long as you keep regular contact, I would ask him and his friends to come round for some food sometime etc. Jules