how do you know what someone wants from you?

[frenchfancy]

i was seeing someone for 2 months and we went out regularly etc. Feel like i was being used now though... there was no discussion about how serious or not serious it was but gave me the impression that we were in a 'relationship'. i decided to end it and he told me he didnt want to fall for someone and didnt want to use me like a piece of meat but i was dumping him?!? didnt really feel like that at the time and was introduced to his friends etc.... What was going on?

[skyep]

Hi french - It sounds like he is still enjoying the freedom of meeting lots of different girls, maybe he isn't ready for a steady relationship. It's possible you are quite different to the usual girls he meets, and so he's saying to you in a round about way, I'm still playing the field, so I don't want to hurt your feelings.

[frenchfancy]

Hi skyep, i take your point but said that he could see us going out long term and i wasnt like other girls who slept around. also wanted to stay friends etc but i find this impossible if you have history with someone -
i think i've been taken for a ride!!!!! and am angry about it.

[skyep]

Hi french - Whatever you do, don't contact him! See what happens.

[bednobs]

you dumped him. why do you feel angry? i dont get it

[frenchfancy]

Because i feel like a mug... just because i was the one doing the dumping doesnt negate the everything that's happened.

[frenchfancy]

Because i feel like a mug... just because i was the one doing the dumping doesnt necessarily make me feel any better. I'll stop being bitter now and move on.

[jackthehat]

Perhaps he was just covering how he really felt...........?

Your posting is a little ambiguous...........

Are you upset that he wasn't gutted when you dumped him ?

[frenchfancy]

god knows - i dont think he wanted a girldfriend and i just expected too much. i think he's just a bit of a player.

[jackthehat]

But YOU dumped HIM............

I can't help but feel that the fact that he wasn't gutted has put you in a snit !

[frenchfancy]

Yes, agree but am also annoyed that he wasnt straight with me from the start - knew what type of person i was, not like other girlfriends he had had etc etc.

[jackthehat]

You must have had your reasons for dumping him aside of the fact that you feel that he wasn't straight with you, after the fact.

I really think that you are wasting time on this.

YOU dumped HIM...........just pat yourself on the back and move on.

[frenchfancy]

Point taken

[bednobs]

so, he told you he didnt want to use you, and that he didnt want to fall in love, and you think he's manipulated you? Seems pretty honest to me. there really must be something i am missing in your post cause i really dont understand at all. You say there was no discussion on how serious things were but discussions can be initiated by both parties you know.

[frenchfancy]

He only clarified things AFTER it ended - how is this being honest?