So sorry whickerman, what an awful time for you, what must be terrible for you is the fact that you have probably got to try and be strong and supportive to the others in these situations,i.e. brother/sister and mum/dad and not give yourself some TLC.
Work---soon as you can book some time off.
Baby and Gran --give support to others but remember your grief too, and tell people!! tell them how much you were looking forward to baby and tell them how much Gran meant to you.
and my only life affirming thought even though it's not a very good one is.....everything happens for a reason.
x