my brother always sends me good jokes but i need a a good joke to retaliate

[alinic]

he's a cheeky sod, so any good one would be good!
regards alinic

[weeal]

Dr Dave had slept with 1 of his patients and felt really guilty. No matter how much he tried the sense of betrayal was overwhelming. Every once in a while he'd hear an internal reassuring voice say 'Dave dont worry about it. U arent the 1st doctor to sleep with 1 of your patients and u wont be the last, and youre single, just let it go' but invariably the other voice would bring him back 2 reality whispering 'Dave youre a f*****g vet.

[bigboyhoy]

I was just reading an article on heavy drinking. It scared the sh*t out of me. So thats it.........after tonight, no more f@cking drinking

[weeal]

I was at the cashpoint earlier and this little old lady asked me to check her balance...so I pushed the old git over!

[Sasha13]

Go up to a girl in front of your brother. Ask her to place her left hand in front of say. Ask her 'has she ever had a parrot in that hand' (she'll prob say no). Do the same with her right hand. Then ask her to open her mouth. Say to her, 'Yeah, but I bet you've had a c0ckatoo in there haven't you?'

In fact, get him to do it as 50% of the time, girls will find it funny, the other 50% the guy will get slapped!

[Whickerman]

Doctor: " I'm sorry Mr Jones, you'll just have to stop masturbating"

Patient: "Why's that doc?"

Doctor: "Cos I'm trying to examine you!"

(Badoom Tish! Thank you, I'll be here all week, try the fish)

[alinic]

Many thanks for your JOKES! very good! will send him some tomorrow!
regards alinic

[vehelpfulguy]

>I was just reading an article on heavy drinking. It scared the sh*t out of me. So thats it.........after tonight, no more f@cking drinking

Surely the punch line should be no more READING.

[Skreecheeboy]

That's what I thought vehelpfulguy!

What's red and invisible?

- No tomatoes!