Bloody in-laws!!!

[mountainboo]

This is a rant Im afraid: I went on holiday with my partners mum and 3 sisters recently, but without my partner. I had a real s*!t time but that was mainly because I've out-grown alot of the stuff we did, it was too hot and I hated the food. Anyway, somehow it got back to them that I hated it. That is not what I'm bothered about. Last night my partner went to see them and they were really putting me down in many ways which are too pointless to mention, and then they accused me of having an eating disorder!!! I was gobsmacked and deeply offended when my partner told me what had been said. I will just mention that I am 11 weeks pregnant and was suffering with morning sickness whilst I was there. They somehow think that I binged on burgers the whole time: I had 3 in 17 days, 2 veggies and 1 meat. They also saw me pushing food to 1 side of my plate!!! Ridiculous isn't it! They were obviously watching my every move. I am appaled at some of the things they have said about me, when I have done absolutely nothing to deserve it, particularly as I never asked for anything and always did what everyone else wanted whilst away. They think that, as I havent appeared to be excited about my pregnancy that I will be a bad mother (I havent had my first scan and am trying very hard not to get my hopes up too much). My partner says I should contact them to talk it over and my dad thinks I should not talk to them at all and stay away, what shall I do?

[B00]

Do you think that the fact you had a crap time and maybe didn't hide the fact well make them more critical than they'd normally be?

Maybe they were insulted that your time in their company wasn't as good as you'd have liked, so they are picking up on every little thing which they'd normally overlook.

[mountainboo]

Yeah boo I had thought of that, but I gave no indication while I was there that I didn't enjoy it as I didn't want to ruin it for them. But their comments have been completely unjust

[mountainboo]

I'll just add that I have never in my life had an eating disorder and I am extremly excited about my pregnancy.

[Everhelpful]

Just ignore them,they are obviously not worth it. Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope everything goes well.

[mountainboo]

Thanks everhelpful. I agree, I think I should ignore them too.

[bekka]

Take your partners sensible advice and discuss it with them...this could be the chance for you all to get to know each other better...discuss openly and honestly though...don't hold anything back...by saying that i don't mean cause a row...but honest adult conversation...state honestly how you feel and how upset you were.

How did it get back to them anyway...if your partner has discussed your feelings with them without consulting you... then maybe an idea to ask him to be a little more careful in how he phrases things when discussing your views in future...after all you can't never say exactly how you feel...well you can...but only when you all know each other a lot better :)

[mountainboo]

That is good advice bekka, although I have known them as a family for 23 years so I cant really get to know them much better. They are extremely 2faced because whilst on holiday when the mother and 2 sisters got together they would say terrible things about the other sister. They are very immature people unfortunately, which doesn't help

[cruella]

Hi mountainboo
I am sorry you had such a horrible time.
We all move on in life and enjoy different things as we get older and what one person enjoys does not mean another has to either.
They are the ones with the problem as far as I can see. If they are happy to talk behind your back instead of telling you how they feel to your face, I would let them make the first move
You are pregnant for goodness sake. Hormones and diet all over the place at the moment and they ought to understand that. All this upset cannot be good for the baby either. How selfish of them.
I they are unhappy with you for some reason, they ought to have the decency to tell you to your face. I would also tell my partner to stand up and be counted. Give them time to setle down and yourself.
Take care of yourself and the babs. Good luck!

[bekka]

Ahhh mountain...yes...i know people like that :(

I find the best way to treat them...

ALWAYS open and honest...say what you think and damn the consequences! tee hee...it frightens the sh**e out of them that you may tell someone what they've said or contradict them with it when they say something else to the said person.

Have Fun :) :) :) how do ya do an evil smiley on here...

[mountainboo]

lol and Thanks very much cruella and bek, you've cheered me up lots. Open and honest is good, and for now I think I will atleast give myself time to cool down so that I dont end up saying something to them that I could later regret, although, the hormones excuse could be a good one if I did!!! he he, no, I wouldn't, I will let the dust settle and when the time comes I will be assertive. Thanks once again xxxxxxxxxx

[dot.hawkes]

Hi mountainboo, i think you should feel disapointed that this chance to bond with your baby's grandma and aunts went so badly. there will come a time shortly when you may need their help and they will be wanting to visit their new little grandchild./nephew/niece, and with that in mind i would leave them to it for now and focus on the months ahead, they'll be there when you need them.

[dot.hawkes]

my first reply is still not showing and so i guess i am still banned : (