3yr old and nursery

[kitten_uk2]

hi, my 3yr old son started nursery at the beginning of the month, we worked him in gratually till he stayed for the full 3 hrs hes allowed(paid by government) at first he loved it, and made firm friends with one of the staff. if you have followd my posts in the past ul remember my son is a little behind for his age and only stated walking when he was 2 etc, hes more like a 2 and half yr old than a 3 yr old id say. anyway about a week ago he started to cry when he knew we were going to nursery, the other day when i took him he cried all the way i had to carry him in,, i felt so upset that he was upset. the staff said some kids just do cry when starting nursery. but ive noticed a change in him in general, he crys alot espeshially when he doesnt get his own way, and now wakes during the night crying too. i dont know what to do? should i pull im out and try again in january? anyone else had problems like this?

[tigwig]

Hi kitten I work at a nursery and I think you should be talking to the staff about this. Does he have a keyworker? You need to arrange a meeting with them to see if there is anything they can think of what might have changed or upset him in any way. If nothing has it may be just a delayed reaction of seperation anxiety. Sometimes children can get upset after a while but when they are kept to their usual routine it should pass so I wouldn't take him out it will confuse him more especially when he has to go back. The staff need to be spending more one to one time with him and giving him special attention and distracting him with activities. You can help him by not letting it show you are upset when leaving him and by just giving him a kiss and cuddle then leaving straight away reassuring him you will be back soon. Don't keep hanging around or going back for more cuddles when he is crying this only prolongs it and makes it worse. Make sure you arrange to talk to the staff and don't leave until you are happy with what they are saying and what they are going to do about it. This is what I do at my nursery and all nurseries should do the same its called working in partnership with parents/carers. Good luck.

[lou 26]

My daughter went through something similar when she started nursery. It is upsetting to see them so upset, i ran out of the nursery in tears a few times so I can guess what youre going through! I would ask the teachers to see what he is like once youve left. My daughter used to sob her heart out but only while I was there! She was fine once id left. It could be that now hes started crying he associates it with nursery. i.e. once he gets there he thinks he automatically has to cry. I did a sticker chart with my daughter. I reassured her that I would always be there to fetch her at the end of nursery and we did a sticker chart for two weeks. Each time she tried her best not to cry she got a sticker, then at the end of the two weeks I rewarded her with a trip to the park. It worked! She enver shed a tear again and settled well. Shes just started school now and Im having to do the same sticker chart again!

Good luck! It is a trying time for both of you but im sure with lots of reassurance he will be fine xxx

[burt one]

hi,
i have just sent my daughter to nursery too! she is 3 and its heartbreaking isnt it! she has always been happy to be left before, as she used to attend pre nursery 2 mornings without any fuss or tears! but the last 2 weeks have been heartbreaking as when i say its time for school she just says "but mummy i miss you" then when we get there its tears and the hanging on for dear life! i think its harder too because they have had the summer off (and im due to give birth in 3 weeks) so spent more time with us, then bang school everyday! i started taking her a lolly when i pick her up (and one for a freind) and tell her that i miss her but its ok cause i will be back after playout time! i have also done a photo album that has worked a treat every time she does or has something new i put it into a small album and she takes it to show everyone in school! i found talking about school with her constantly helps more and we even play school games now like, taking register and story telling. hope that it gets better for him! im just dreading the next 2 weeks autum break as i will have a new baby and she will get out of the routine!
x