Ex-husband refuses to give Ex-directory number for emergency contact

[MAMA KIN]

My ex-husband refuses to give me his home number so that I have an alternate number to call him in an emergency on when he has our child. Am I being unreasonable to ask for this? and legally can he withold this number?

[B00]

Lol yes, he does sound like a pig mama kin, however....(oooo dont you hate that word!) In your position I wouldnt stop him seeing his child.

I do know what im talking about too- my ex husband was pretty much the same, but for the sake of my daughter I had to grit my teeth and send her off each time it was suitable for him to see her because SHE wanted to, not me.

[MAMA KIN]

Boo - I agree, that stopping him in the short term is hurting our child. But less than the inconsistency of his "visits".

We are both at the moment seeking legal advice - instigated by him - basically this is because since the end of our marriage I have stood up for myself, and he doesn't like that - and told him that our child needs more routine.

Since then he has tried to arrange having her without even asking my permisssion to make it look like I am in the wrong. Despite being instructed by my solicitor to give me his number! He has threatened to take me to court, which again I welcome as then it will be in black and white when he has to have her and can't make excuses or change his mind at the last minute.

I cannot believe that he is being this difficult. It kills me and my partner to see her so distressed after seeing him or speaking to him as she doesn't know when she will next see him.

For the last two years we have told her that it is because her Father is busy at work. However she is growing up fast and is asking questions that she deserves to know the truth about.

Now, we do everything we can not to bad mouth her father as this would achieve nothing, but he doesn't help himself by not doing everything in his power to spend time with his kid.

Even if I turned round and said that I didn't want his number he would still find something to have a go about.

[Reverandfunk]

Mama hope it all works out.

Ignore all the self righteous on here. Any normal caring father would give you his number to have more opportunities to speak to his child. From what you have said he's better not being in her life.

No Xmas presents for your child? Could you sink any lower?

Anyway ignore what I say because I don't have kids so cannot have an opinion in any way shape or form lol

[B00]

I too hope it goes well for your daughter Mama, I honestly think the lack of landline number is maybe something you might have to give in on?

I hear what you're saying and fully sympathise, but that doesn't alter the fact that you do have means of contact with her when she's there, even if it's not to your liking.

All you can do, and you sound like you already are, is allowing her access to him whenever she wants.

Good luck :-)

[confused79]

I have an ex who has my 3 children one night a week, he too wont give me his home number its pathetic, and he has my mobile my new partners mobile AND my home number, i know hsi address and would go to his home in an emergency, i agree that he should give you his home number, but liek me too its hard to get blood outof a stone, his mother lives literally a minute round the corner and i have her home number so i always call her if i cant get hold of him on his mobile.
Are there any unresolved issues that are being dealt with with a solicitor, maybe you could get your solictor to write to him making it a bit more official.

[Reverandfunk]

Like you will be ringing him in the middle of the night stalking him - like you do me lol

Boo - Give that legend some stick on the other post, ive never met someone so in love with themselves

[B00]

now now Rev, next you'll be accused of being in my clique, yes apparently I have one, and it's now also got a name..."Boo's Buddies"...I suggest you enrol fast, the members list is growing at an alarming rate....well, member one....but I can hope eh? ;-)

[Reverandfunk]

Can I join pleeeaaassseeeee

You can be one of my nuns lol

[Meg888]

GET A LIFE !! Move on!!

I answered this in the other thread -

if all you wanted was an answer to your question on the landline issue why are you defamating your ex's character -I dont have a landline - my ex & i have joint custody - we've never had a prob yet

Maybe he has his reasons for witholding his landline & taking so long to give you his address - reasons which we wont ever know - but bunnies & boiler come to mind

[MAMA KIN]

All, Thanks again for your comments, good and bad. Its given me and my partner food for thought about the situation.

We both appreciate an outside perspective as its easy to get sucked into tunnel vision, especially when the parties involved are not seeing eye to eye and both believe they are in the right.

Still, if it goes to court about his acces and that a Judge decides that he will see his daughter on a regular basis i.e at least one weekend a month every alternate x-mas/easter/bank holidays and half of the summer holidays this will be a massive improvement on the current situation.

Even if it means we are in the wrong - in the eyes of the court - this decision will benefit my daughters welfare and relationship with her father in the long term and well worth whatever it costs.

And that is what I want more than anything for my daughter.

So goodbye for now, I'll let you know how we get on.

[smudge742]

I have a similar problem with my ex, he insists on having my landline and my mobile, even though our kids have their own mobiles. But he only has a mobile and expects the kids to ring his mobile. As it uses so much credit, they have to use the landline. However, he never rings them himself, as using his mobile is too expensive. So again I end up footing the bill. People like my ex and yours are awkward on purpose. He even moves house and doesn't give me the address, but still wants the kids, even though I don't know where they will be! My kids end up telling me (in a roundabout way) where they will be.
I think you should have his landline in case of emergency...what if his mobile battery died?

[mycats]

How old is your child Mama kin? Couldnt you give her a mobile of her own? then you could contact her.
It jsut sounds like mind games from the ex (he sounds a right charmer) but you cant stop your child seeing their dad, thats wrong and will hurt your child.

Good luck