Hi Willow,
I feel exactly the same way too. I just turned 21 and for as long as I can remember Ive always really hated myself. I was the fat ugly kid in class and was bullied all the way through school. And nothings changed really I still get teased and called names when Im out in town in the evening - even walking down the street. Thats why I dont like going out anymore. I walk along the street with my head down as I dont want people to notice me or look at me. If they look at me I feel as though I know exactly what they are thinking and saying about me. Ive always hated the way I look and in general just feel worthless. I think that a counsellor really is the best way forward Ive tried anti depressants and self help books on Cognitive Behaivoural Therapy but I think to really get a result you need to see a professional. Its something Ive always really wanted to do but Im too embarassed to admit to anyone how Im feeling - my partner knows how I feel but I dont talk to him about it as it upsets me and I think if he knew the full extent of how I was feeling maybe it would scare him off. I just try and put a brave face on it. Grin and bear it as they say!!
I wish you all the best and luck for the future
xxx