Heard this on the radio today.

[styley]

A couple of vampires are out doing their weekly groceries when all of a sudden a man jumps up onto their shoulders, grabs a couple of items from the top shelf, stuff them into his jacket and runs off. On the way out the guy is caught and arrested and is later charged with shoplifting.....on two counts.

[dolly pond]

oh dear, why has no-one laughed>? i like it

[Mortartube]

A Tim Vine joke. Go off to Youtube and search Tim Vine, you will see him perform many other great puns like that.