How do you know?

[Sasha13]

Legend asked this question a while ago but the thread went off on a bit of a tangent.

How do you know if you and the person you're seeing are a couple?

Do you sit down and have a conversation about it? If so, who (man or woman - I'm assuming a straight relationship here) would you expect to initiate it?

Do you just assume? If so, when is it ok to do that? After three dates? 5? After sleeping with them?

I'm interested to see how things like this have worked for everyone else.

Thanks!

[chicklin]

Now this is an interesting question - but I have no idea of the right answer!......in fact is there a right answer?.....surely its different for everyone?

I'm trying to cast my mind back......hmmm....I think we just sort of drifted into it....spent a lot of time with each other. 'A couple' means two so I suppose when there are two of you instead of you being single.....when you have a 'significant other'..........maybe!

[China Doll]

I guess the time to ask is when you stop thinking it's ok for you to see other people but not them and start thinking it's not ok for either of you to see other people.

But I don't think it matters whether it's the bloke or woman that thinks it first.

[4getmenot]

we had this a while ago and apparently according to leg I;ma ***** because me and my bloke have never asked eachother out. :-)
I'm sure you just know if you're not sure you ask but I was sure and now been together 7 months.

[legend758duo]

i think if you dont agree on ground rules then someone will undoubtedly get hurt.

i mean if youre casual then its ok to see other folk?
or isnt it?

you need to be sure or someone gets hurt.

but then m,aybe im just too old fashioned ??

[spudqueen]

Personally I think it's when you start making plans for the future. And by this I don't mean when you'll get married, the kids names etc, but maybe what you're going to do over Christmas, are you available to come to my friends wedding in 4 months time, that sort of thing.

[Sasha13]

Exactly Legend - I wouldn't want to get hurt - I'd rather know where I stood, especially if I was sleeping with that person.

But it seems to me that women get labelled as needy if they mention it first.

What would be a good way to mention it, if a women decided to bring it up without appearing to be a bunny boiler?