constancy and change

[meredith101]

someone is like 'X'. Where 'X' represents all sides of them, good or bad. Say they have a lot of bad traits. Say they are lazy, hateful, cheating, unreliable, spiteful. This is not really too good. Most people would want them to change. Even they may want to change. It is hard to change. But say they do it. They change to 'Y' and drop all the old characteristics. They now know they are 'Y', and move towards becoming this better person.
But their friends all know them as 'X'. They assume they will stay like this, be like this. They will interpret their actions with X in mind.
Shouldnt' they drop most of their friends if they are to move on? We make a picture of ourselves based on what our friends think of us. But our friends cant keep up if we change so drastically.
People want others to change but cannot accept that they can do it. Should people allow themselves to be restricted in their growth just because their friends can't make the effort to see change?

[warpig3]

If a person had the X traits would it not be safe to assume that their friends also had these traits and found X's behaviour acceptable, and also are they really friends. I cant imagine anyone who was Y tolerating a friend who was spiteful, hateful or cheating (I won't include lazy or unreliable as I know many fine people who have these traits).

People grow and expand and as a friend of many I appreciate and applaud any who try to better themselves as they do me. In my own struggles (alcohol related) I have changed my lifestyle, values and my focus and my friends have empowered me and encouraged me to do this. If I were to sit in their company and they were to try and entice me to drink (this has never happened) I would have to reconsider the basis on which these friendships was based.

Hope that makes sense.