Forbidden fruit

[peppy]

Morning everyone, not bin on here for ages but have a problem. The most gorgeous sexy bloke you could ever encounter is making a play 4 me. Heaven you would think, but he's married.
Most of me screams no, but he turns me on SO much that I think I'm about to lose my judgement.
Please help

[warpig3]

Morning Peppy. I don't know what your own situation is ie married or not, but I would recommend caution.

Ask yourself some questions, eg gorgeous sexy bloke making a play, whats he after, whats in it for him, whats in it for me, where will it end, what is at stake (his wife, children, marriage, your sanity etc), has he done this before?

Try to look at it objectively and not let your heart or lust rule your head (easy said, i know).

[peppy]

Warpig, how wise are you !! Everything you said is what I wanted to hear, and then some. What do you do for a living, cos I think you should be a therapist.

[peppy]

And thankyou Warpig, forgot me manners x

[warpig3]

LOL peppy, at the moment I don't have a 'living'. Perhaps I should set myself up as a therapist, in which case, that will be 50 quid please.

Seriously though, you are in a very tempting situation, its not just the gorgeous sexy bloke, its all the other things that go along with it - you know you shouldn't do it therefore its enticing, no one else must know but you both would know so you would share the secret, sneaking around gets the adrenalin pumping and so it goes on.

I used to work in an environment which was 50/50 men and women and the number of affairs going on were outrageous. Many, many of them ended in divorce, ruined lives, broken homes and hearts.

I personally had an affair with a married man for many years and its not something I am proud of with hindsight. No one ever found out but the consequences of our actions could have been huge, not so much for me (i was single) but for him and his family (3 young children). To this day I don't know what I was thinking except to say that I wasnt thinking at all.

IMO if its not you then it will be someone else, bear that in mind before you go any further.

[Theland]

Say no. You could hurt somebody otherwise.
That's not a nice thought is it?

[amonty1144]

Sometimes it can work out but a lot of people get hurt, I was married when I met my current husband. I'm not making excuses but my marriage was appalling for a lot of reasons. I didn't have an affair as such because my current husband was my friend and he gave me the strength to walk out and start again. Although my first husband wasn't a great guy my 'affair ' hurt him and my family.
A lot of affairs don't have a happy ending for anyone, those in it and those on the outside.
A few years ago, my husband and I were having mega problems and he had an affair. We worked through it but an awful lot of damage was done. Four years on, we are getting a lot of our previous reationship bak but it has been hard work. It would have been easier to leave him out in the cold.
The choice is yours but what starts out as harmless fun, usually mean a lot of hurt

[Beads]

Agree with all what warpig3 has written - she is speaking from personal experience too.

Plus if he's going to cheat on his current wife, he'll more than likely cheat on you - so even if you ended up together would you really want a life of wondering where someone was, what they were doing, etc because of the way you met?

*As Rachel Karen Green's mum always says 'once a cheater always a cheater'!


*A bit of lightheartedness from the popular television show, 'Friends'.

[warpig3]

Incidentally, I meet someone recently who works with the married bloke and she was able to tell me that he is still a philanderer, so, no change there then!

[peppy]

How insightful are you all, and what a wonderful site this is.
Warpig, you really have got a special talent, few people have the understanding and then are articulate enough to deliver the advice satisfactorily, as you have. Thankyou !!!
And Beads, just watched Friends before I came on here. Love it, don't you ? x x

[genesais]

How old are you peppy ?

[dopeybint]

44 genesais, an unusual name ya'v got there. Care to explain ? x x

[peppy]

Who the heck does this ' dopeybint ' think he / she is answering my question. Am furious !!!!!!
What can I do about it ?

[cazzz1975]

If he is making a play regardless of how sexy he is chances are your not the only woman he has done this too, always think to yourself "I am one of several" remember his wife fell for the same smaltz, and even if you do feel tempted you could never trust a sleaze like that.

If you want to test his integrity say..."sorry I dont date other ppls husbands" see what he says..

[Ice-Maiden]

I think Cazz's got it in one. He probably tries it on with other women as well, and if you fell for his charms, I doubt you'd be the last. I don't know how anyone could trust a person who deceives his current partner, and although it might seem hard for you, I think it's best to walk away from this one.