Nursery fear

[GuavaHalf]

My toddler, aged two and a half, has been going to nursery two days a week for about 18 months now. Up until a few weeks ago he loved it and there was no problem leaving him. Now however it is a struggle to get him in the car in the morning, he cries all the way there and screams for about half an hour after I go. From then on he's fine. At the same time he has started getting up in the night and putting him to bed has also become a struggle. He even started crying and screaming at the local toddler group even though he knows that I don't leave him there. The nannies at the nursery have not changed, are very well known to us and there is absoulutely no suggestion whatsoever of any kind of abuse at nursery - please do not suggest this as the cause. What can we do? Is it just normal toddler stranger or sepreation fear? How can we get him over this?

[Joe's Mum]

I had this problem with my son, he just lost all interest in going to nursery even though he use to love it, I asked them if there was anything wrong and there wasn't and my mum who is a teacher suggested he could be bored and need different activities, so i suggested to the nursery that he be moved upto the next group ( which he was going to go to in 4 weeks anyway) and the difference was unbelievable...he could just be bored.Just walk away during the night he will soon learn that you are not going to give in.. Good luck.

[GuavaHalf]

Thanks for your answer Joe's Mum. Its not boredom he has not just lost interest he screams for England! How do you manage to just walk away at night. He gets out of bed and comes out of his room. I do not want to put a lock on the door but we have taken to holding the door closed for a period of time, increasing each time he gets up.

[Joe's Mum]

I put a childrens stair gate accross his door, the amount of times I have sat on the stairs crying whilst he is screaming is unbelievable it is the hardest thing to do and trust me it gets better, reassure him that you are still there and you have not left him. It will get better....

[Hgrove]

My guess is that it is a phase... he started going when he was one and now he is in the middle of the terrible twos.   My own feeling is that these screaming episodes will do him no long term damage, although it makes it very hard for you.  You could consider taking him out of the nursery and giving up your job - but then you might find that he finds another reason to scream (it is the terrible twos after all).

[cwr]

I have three boys which never liked nursery and never slept very well, but for gods sake don,t hold the door shut on him jump in bed with him and give him a cuddle they are growing up and know and again they can't be bothered ,its a phase it will pass