daughter being clingy

[leewayne]

Hi everybody,i need help for my own sanity!!!
My beautiful daughter is 8 mths old and has a strong attachment to me,everytime i leave the room she either cries or cries and crawls to me!! My son wasnt like this at all and ive brought them up the same but i cant help thinking that its because of my boy(he harasses her and doesnt leave her alone) and he think she comes to me to rescue her,i really dont know.But its driving me mad!!! I need to do things during the day and potter around the house but never get more than 5 mins to do anything!! Plz help if someone has some advice to curbe this if i havent already tried!!! Lianne :)

[cazzz1975]

they go through this a few times, they go from one parent to the other and back as they get older, I know its really annoying but it will pass

[Solarjunkie]

The "fear period" at around 8 months is well known, tough not all children seem to go through it. Psychologically the idea is that the child is afraid of your leaving , as she hasn't yet got the brain power to realise you come back again! It doesn't last long, maybe 2 or 3 weeks. Personally, I used to carry my son around in a sling most of the day, as he would get frantic if I was out of sight and I couldn't see the point of giving him such grief. You can vacuum, all sorts while "wearing" your baby. Then I played a lot of leaving & coming back games, starting with a few seconds and building up.
Basically, don't worry, it'll pass soon, just do whatever you feel is right to keep your baby happy till the next stage! All the best.

[sarnieken]

Although I won't be facing this myself until next year, I have three siblings with children and I have often seen them go through this.

What seems to work is, when you have to leave them for a few seconds / a minute or two is to keep talking to them as much as possible and also give them something to amuse themselves with.

As solar said, start with short periods and gradually build it up to a period where you can get things done but not so they are left alone too long.

hope this helps, Its certainly something I will try. :)

[leewayne]

Thank you sooo much all been very helpful,i hope it doesnt last long as its wearing me down and i feel my sons missing out because she's sooo attached to my hip!! Thanks

[redcrx]

its a stage that many of them go through and it does pass

Try playing peekaboo when you need to leave a room. Keep peekabooing around the door leaving a long gap each time.

She will soon realise that although you are oput of sight you will keep coming back.

also talk to her from the other room so she knows you are still about.

[amonty1144]

The behaviour you are seeing is the basis of good quality attachment with your child.

Wade through this article and you will see what a good start you are making with your baby,

http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/bon ding/science-of-attachment.html

[leewayne]

Thanks for that,it was very interesting,maybe i am doing a good job but my back still aches and have huge bags under my eyes!!! I know she's scared that im not going to come back,just wish there was an easy way to calm and reassure her!! Thanks

[ojread2]

I agree with redcrx - it's called object permanence :)

Children learn that whilst they can't see it it is still there, including mummy
This is why they think that no one can see them when they close their eyes lol They haven't quite cottoned on that it happens both ways :)

oj x