pressure of mum

[lightoftruth]

I'm usually a fairly good student..ive never failed an exam before now and ive never been disruptive or "****** about" in lessons. Yesterday i got an E in my a-level biology mock and she went off the rails! threating to take away my internet access which i actually need to help with revision. I dunno what to do cause i feel like im not allowed to have difficulty with something cause my mums just gonna punish me for quite simply...not understanding the stuff?? what am i to do! ive tried telling her shes being overly harsh but she wont listen to reason

[funnygirl]

Mums are like that, I have done the same with my boys.
But back to the matter in hand, do you need more help with your biology?. If so maybe you can explain this to your mum and to your class teacher. I am sure the school lays on extra homework classes for those taking exams.
It could be, that you are not a biology person, with me I hated maths and never got ahead in this subject.

[mimififi30]

mum's are like this because they love you so much they actually hurt. I shout at my children something along the lines of "Oh, for goodness sake, you so could have aced that test, it must be because you spend all the hours God sends on MSN, instead of in private study, reading around your subject to give you the edge that examiners are looking for blah blah blah..." What I actually mean is: "Oh, darling, I'm so sorry for you. I love you so much and think you are so clever that the fact that you are hurting is making me hurt and I wish I could make this all better for you but what we are gonna do is this: blah blah blah..." And lastly, to add to our list of failings as human beings, we don't communicate this to you and when you've gone to bed and we reflect on our behaviour, we are too damn proud to then say the following morning: "I'm so sorry I said what I said, what can we do to fix this?" The main problem is that mum's are actually only human. Unfortunately, this realisation of "mum is a human" does often coincide with A'level exams which is not always a helpful combo.

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[mimififi30]

I think the only thing you can do is, instead of trying to tell her that she has behaved unreasonably (as we like to think that we never do, ha ha) say to her instead in the morning: "Mum, I just feel so naff about my biology, and you're right, I should have worked harder/tried harder/studied more. I'm gonna go into school today and talk to Dr bones (or the actual name of your teacher) and get him to tell me where I've failed, also I've heard that there are some really good study sites at www.passyourbiologyalevel.com and that the library can order you the longman's alevel guide to being a perfect teenager/a'level biology book, so I'm gonna go over on the weekend, what do you think I should do in addition, mummy?" This will do 2 things: 1) shame your mother into the realisation that she (like me and nearly everyone) perhaps behaved poorly and flew off the handle and hasn't apologised appropriately and 2) help her to realise that you are the perfect teenager and at least you are not like Jonny Johnson down the road who can barely hold a pencil, or Nelly Oleson up the road who is right cow

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[mimififi30]

If this recipe for family perfection doesn't work, I would suggest going out for a drink with your dad, keeping your head low and wait for a) the PMT to go away and b) the dust to settle.

I'm really sorry to hear that you 've had a bad day/week/term, but as a teacher and a mummy, I can only say that at least this is what mock exams are for. It's so that we don't get nasty surprises in August...You'll be fine....And I wish you all the very best of luck...keep your chin up

lots of love
mimififi

[nutgoneflake]

*applauds, standing, with tears in her eyes*

SO well put mimififi. We mums only ever want the best for our young 'uns x

[mimififi30]

well, if funny girl had been talking about year 9 SATs and not A'levels, I would have had to have checked that it wasn't my daughter posting: *blush*.

but as always, a kind word turns away anger, even the anger of mum's (which is, I'm told, the scariest type...!)

XXX

[mimififi30]

oops, didn't mean funnygirl, meant lightoftruth...

SEE, mum's NEVER listen....

[Ice-Maiden]

When I was at school, and later studying for a degree, there was always an undertone from my father that I should do well, but there were subjects which I could never get to grips with - maths being one of them. I remember my mother telling me before each exam - "Go in and do your best. You can't do any more" - whereas my father'd make it quite clear that he thought I'd done no revision at all. My mother's words will always stick with me, and this is what I've told my own children. I don't put pressure on them, & they know I'll love them whatever the outcome.