insecurities

[jen85]

my guy has suddently become very insecure in the space of a few days. my ex is back from travelling and has made a few attempts to talk to me recently. iv been polite and said hello and tht im fine but as soon as my ex starts getting suggestive i cut the conversation short. to me im not fussed if he is in my life or not. im happy wit my man now! anyways since sat a number of things have happened. we went to a club on saturday night and my bloke kept asking me questions about him, he even saw a man that looked slightly like him and thought he was giving him dodgy looks. on monday he got really annoyed and told me if i didnt delete his msn, phone number or if spoke to him again then there would be trouble. i said that this wasn't very fair as im allowed to speak to who i want but after he went off on one i did what he requested and have deleted any contact i have wirth him. laying in bed last night he told me he has trust issues, not with me but with my ex. i dont know what i can do to make him see i love him and want 2 b with him forever. to top things off he told me his ex has texted him twice saying how she misses him and wants him back. he kept this quiet but only bought it up when we were arguing. he said he didnt want to ruin my night and deleted the text straight away and ignored it. i want to talk to him about it but i dont know how. we never really resolved anything so now it is difficult to bring back up. our arguements are often over our previous relationships and its driving me mad because apart frm this our relationship is perfect! help!

[pistolday]

hes only said that hes in contact with his ex to empower himself to try and make you feel like he does

[Reverandfunk]

Personally I wouldn't be insecure about your ex but by the same token I wouldn't want you to be in regular contact with him either.

They are an ex for a reason, so texts and msn etc etc are not required. What are you going to about? The good old days? Or more likely he wants to rekindle things judging by the suggestive texts.

If you bump into each other in the street say hello, but numbers and texting? No

Tell yr new bloke its him you want to be with and to get a grip!

[ChocolatChip]

I agree with Reverandfunk, you don't have any reason to be in contact with him, and to be honest, I don't think your partner is being unreasonable to ask you to not talk to him.
He might have self-esteem issues, and be worried that your ex was better looking or a better lover or whatever. And is worried that you're gonna run straight back into his arms.
Why did you break up with your ex in the first place may I ask?

You also need to talk to him calmly, tell him that you love him and no-one else, and you're not gonna walk away. Try not to get angry and shout it out, makes it less believable doesn't it?

[Shirl]

Don't reply to the ex then. Be happy with what you have with your boyfriend.

And don't mention previous relationships, if it makes you both argue.

[jno]

you can speak to who you want, though I'd avoid exes who leave suggestive messages. But I'd also be wary of bf's who tell you there'll be trouble if you don't do as you're told. Yes, for him to drag his own ex into the argument is a sign of insecurity. He has issues with jealousy and trust, but he's trying to brazen them out by ordering you around. I think you need to remind him that you're happy with him but he doesn't own you. You may think he's perfect in other respects, but is he going to get like this whenever another male looks at you? That could make for a hard road. Now would be a good time to stand up for your right to decide who you'll talk to.

[gucciman]

as a bloke i wouldn't be happy if my fiancees ex was sniffing around and they were texting or ringng each other either. your ex is nothhing to you anymore so break all contact and concentrate on your relationship