not listing to me

[Candiegowett]

my 4 year old child dont listen to me and always says i can't when i speek to her to do something for me

[andy hughes]

Speak to your child in a calm firm voice, and if he looks away, gently turn his head towards you to maintain eye contact. If he struggles, don't fight, let him go. Next time he speaks to you, ignore him. Maintain silence for about ten minutes, then calmly explain that you don't like him igonoring you, and you are going to do the same - if he stops doing it, so will you. He will eventually get the message, but you must be firm, and carry it through every single time he does this, because he will test you, and has to know that you mean it, or the whole problem will get worse. It is uncomfortable at first, but stay calm, don't shout, don't argue, just repeat your reasons slowly and calmy until he realises that you mean it. He will stop.

[SmarterThanU]

When I was young and I didn't listen to my Mom, she told me 'The Boogieman' would get me . One night, after I had been really bad, my Dad dressed up in bloody clothing and taped small meat bits to his face and stood outside my bedroom window and screamed, 'I'm The Boogieman And I've Come To Get You!'. I tell you, that worked very well. Although for a few years after I tended to lose bladder control at any small fright, I was still a very good boy.

[wonky]

I used to ask my nephew to pull his pants up after going to the toilet he used to say 'i cant' (when he could) so i would just say 'oh well youll have to walk around with your pants around your ankles and open the cubicle door and start to walk out, he soon picked up his pants. I dont know what sort of things your asking him to do but i hope my story helps. Good luck x x

[cleaner]

To get my child to listen, I get down to his level, speak quietly, say his name and ask him to put up his hand if he can hear me. I repeat this until his hand goes up. Once I know I've got his attention, I can start on what I want to say. If your child says she can't do something, there may be 2 possibilities: 1. she genuinely thinks she can't do it, so you need to help her learn how; 2. she doesn't want to do it - maybe she would rather get on with something else or would rather you did it for her? Sometimes children hear us say things like "I can't do that just now, I'm busy cooking" or whatever, and they use it against us next time! My 5 year old was terrible for not dressing himself - he claimed he could not do it, or he played with his toys instead. I put up a "star chart" for him and it helps him want to get dressed when he is asked. I know not everyone agrees with star charts - but it gets him dressed in the morning and that is what's important to me right now!

[woofgang]

I don't know where you live, but in the UK there are Child and family support services (used to be called child guidance) ask you GP or health visitor if there is anything like that locally, I have a friend who used the service, she said it was a lifesaver

[nrmatth]

ever heard of "the look"?  at four it's a little late but for other parents seeing this with young kids, please let them know "the look".  even my one year old knows that when i say no and give him "the look" then i mean business.  he knows that if he still disobeys after that then i get up and depending on the situation that could mean as much as getting sent to his room.  and i'll tell you what, a minute in his room is a lifetime to a one year old.  he gets the hint real quick.