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Introducing to a child their biological father at two and half yrs old
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My bfs recently found out that he is the father of a two and a half year old boy.
The boy lives with his mother and her partner, and the boy calls the partner dad, the boy also has two older half siblings that are the true biological children of the partner.
Before the results came back my bf and I had the mother and the children over at our home on two occassions, also we met in town with her and just the little boy.
The boy is very happy when he is playing with my bf and seems quite at ease with him even at this early stage. Now the results are back and show 100% he is the father, my bf wants to know how best to introduce himself to the boy - on the previous 'contacts' he referred to my bf as his first name 'John' but now its known he is his father - what should the boy be encouraged to call him???
The boy does call the partner of the mum - 'dad' but the mother has said that the boy doesn't show much affection towards the partner as the boy is a 'mummys boy' (in her words) and they dont interact either. My bf plans on being a big part of the boys life, not just a weekend dad - and as the boy is so young.. for the future would it not be best he learns from now to call him dad then confusing him later?
The boy lives with his mother and her partner, and the boy calls the partner dad, the boy also has two older half siblings that are the true biological children of the partner.
Before the results came back my bf and I had the mother and the children over at our home on two occassions, also we met in town with her and just the little boy.
The boy is very happy when he is playing with my bf and seems quite at ease with him even at this early stage. Now the results are back and show 100% he is the father, my bf wants to know how best to introduce himself to the boy - on the previous 'contacts' he referred to my bf as his first name 'John' but now its known he is his father - what should the boy be encouraged to call him???
The boy does call the partner of the mum - 'dad' but the mother has said that the boy doesn't show much affection towards the partner as the boy is a 'mummys boy' (in her words) and they dont interact either. My bf plans on being a big part of the boys life, not just a weekend dad - and as the boy is so young.. for the future would it not be best he learns from now to call him dad then confusing him later?
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I'm not an expert but i always think that the younger a child is when they are told things such as this, the better. He will then grow up just knowing that his dad is his dad and his other dad is his stepdad. He's not going to remember not knowing you as his dad. I would do it gradually though, spend some time with him and get to know him a bit first. I think the 'mummy's boy' thing is very normal when children are young and i'm sure he will be close to his mums partner as he grows up. He's a lucky little boy to have 2 dads who love him. Good luck.
Don't mess this kid's life up with labels. OK, you bf might be his biological father, but he's not the guy who's been raising him. Let him carry on calling the other guy dad, and instead focus on getting to know him. When he's older you can explain that your bf is his biological father, but for now be content with a 'favourite uncle' role. You can't walk into a 2 year old's life and tell him his dad isn't his dad. If he elects to call your bf dad himself then that is fine, but it is equally fine for him not to - you don't have to be called dad to be one.
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