Access towards children.

[smudge742]

I have been divorced for over 6yrs and it was agreed that the children would live with me, and their dad would see them at weekends. This has happened, and I have always tried to encourage the children to see their dad. However, he is becoming increasingly abusive to them, bullying really. He calls them names, makes them feel guilty if they don't want to go, and it is getting out of hand. My marriage was very abusive, and I never thought he would start on the girls (they are now 11 and 9) My girls have both expressed that they are unsure if they want to continue seeing him, and I have found out, that if I am concerned for the emotional wellbeing, I can stop contact. My question is, if he takes me to court to regain access, and I have to have a solicitor, who pays? I am a little over the limit for legal aid, and my fiance and I cannot afford to remortgage to pay legal costs. My ex isn't the sort of man you can talk to or reason with, so what do I do? I don't want to sound as if money is more important than my girls, but we really can't afford it (My ex is very well off) and what good am I if I pay costs and can't afford a house to live in. Any ideas? Please...

[divegirl]

Hi, could you not try Family Mediation [not sure if that's the correct term], try ringing the citizens advice to see if it's available in your area. My kids often don't want to see their Dad....although he is not overtly abusive we have had problems with him 'siding' with his new family, especially over my daughter. My son is 16 now and only sees his dad when he wants to....not very often!
FM involves you ALL sitting with a counsellor to discuss your problems....maybe a little hard for your girls as they are young and may feel intimadated....but I'd give it a try!

Lisa x