Keep it inside or let them know

[lpphb]

I'm not looking for a relationship with my friend but just want to let those feelings out. I love him and I just want him to know that. I'm just afraid he would take it the wrong way. I'm also afraid to tell him because then I really wouldn't know how to act around him and I would be afraid to look him the face. We have been friends for years and everyone has played with us saying we like each other and we both ignore it. Somewhere along the way though I questioned myself and I really like him. He's like my best friend and I just care a lot for him. I'm leaving next year and I don't want to regret never telling him how I felt and then again I don't want to regret telling him. I'm just so confused and don't know what to do? Any suggestions.

[georgit79]

This is a mantra I've always lived my life by:

It's better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven't.

 

Kind of like...it's better to have lived and learned than to never have lived at all.

[Hayhoe]

I wouldn't bother if you don;t want a realtionship with him. You'll probably go off him anyway when you leave.

[Frankie Babe]

You sure you're not looking for a relationship?  You've already asked this question http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/People_and_Places/Question72775.html

but said you were in love with him.

 

If he's already your best friend and you're definitely not looking for a relationship with him what on earth do you stand to gain from telling him you're in love with him? Either be honest with yourself & go for it or keep your feelings to yourself.

[Yinzer]

I'd recommend giving nonverbal hints. Playfully grab his hand as you walk down the street. See how his body language gets. Just start making more skin contact. Give him a playful peck on the cheek next time you happen to be close to it(!) Make playful remarks about how great yout hink he is and you'll be lucky to find a guy like him when you leave. Don't get too heavy with the whole "I can't stop thinking about you... blah blah" Try to leave an opening for yourself so if he doesn't respond well you can just play it off. But like someone else said, it's better to regret doing something than not doing it.

[littleoldme]

I can see your confusion. In this question you say things like "I really like him...I care a lot for him", while in your previous post you said you were IN LOVE with him. I think it's very important to realise the difference. The 'love' you feel for a very dear, close friend is not the same as being head over heels.

 

I'm male and have a female friend whom I "love" to bits. She knows I'm very, very fond of her, would do anything for her and always be there for her, BUT she also knows (much to her relief I'm sure!) that I'm not IN love with her. It's just platonic. To be honest, we've been such good friends for so long now that to try and make anything else of it would just seem wrong. She is in a relationship anyway (I'm not at the moment), but even if she was single I wouldn't make a move.

 

I think you need to be honest with yourself as to exactly what kind of "love" you feel for this friend of yours. If it's just a great fondness, as claiming that you don't want a relationship with him would suggest, you probably don't need to say anything, because he probably already knows (even if he is male and therefore automatically crap at picking up signals!!). If you really are IN love with him, I think Yinzer's advice is very good - drop hints, but don't get too heavy. Keep it light-hearted and check the reaction.

[lpphb]

I know the difference between friendship and love. I love him as both. It's hard to explain. I'll always be his friend no doubt. We have forgiven each other for a lot of messed up things and have been through just about every bad thing together. It's when somewhere I looked at him and just felt something new and different. I got mixed feelings. I love him as a friend and more. I don't want to ruin our friendship but some part of me is telling me to tell him how I feel and get it off my chest. I guess I just want to really know if he feels the same way and how he takes it. As for a relationship I don't want it because I never can compromise our friendship because I know how we are. We can make each other go crazy and can break up bad. I'm also real close to his sister and that would be too weird for her and plus his family doesn't really like me since him and his sister always run to us with their problems. I also know that feeling won't go away even if I had someone. That's a love I've been trying to break from me for a long time now.