Can you grow to love someone?

[justasking]

If you are with someone you like but don't find that attractive but who loves you, do you think its possible that you can grow to love them? Or should you end it early before you hurt them?

[China Doll]

Well yeah but you can also grow mould if you want to... So I guess is do you want to?

Also, doesn't seem very fair on them either.

[raysparx1]

I think you have to be honest, maybe in time you could grow to love them but is it fair to that person to be thinking that the one they are with loves them? I don't think I could be in that sort of relationship, so I would probably get out of it before the one who loves you gets to serious, lot harder to call it off then, but can it be done gently? probably not, you can say but I still want to be friends, I know what I would say to that, the hurt would go to ddep for me to handle being just friends.

[country_boy]

I think it's possible to grow to love them but not in the same way as they love you.
If you're their "one" and they're not yours then I think it's unfair on both people to carry it on. Sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind but I think if it's not evens it's just a matter of time and only prolonging the agony.
I was in a similar situation earlier this year and after ending it for the reason above, she met the right person for her and has never been happier. Although it wasn't cos I didn't find her attractive, just that certain chemistry thing wasn't there for me.
May be worth waiting til after Christmas though!

[REDHEAD24]

i was in relationship with a bloke i never fancied - it lasted 2 years

however he treated me very well and was kind and i did grow to love him
but was never in love or got butterflys

it can work

but i think really it shouild be equal as ours was not a balanced relationship as he loved / fancied me more and i could never fancy him

[Ice.Maiden]

If he's good to you, but the chemistry's just not there, you could stagger on and make a go of the relationship, but I think you'd grow even more disillusioned as time went on. Best to end it - kindly - and tell him that although he's a nice person, you don't feel the same way as he does.

[tattoomaster]

dont know why you think this is a good thing but personally i think just get out and let them find a life with someone who will love them

[jojojojoanne]

what is love essentially?

[tattoomaster]

When your heart stops if there not there with you

[jojojojoanne]

if your heart stops completely your dead?

[Louisa 69]

You're not being fair to the other person, surely we all deserve to be with someone who loves us, not just plodding along cos it's a good thing.

Being with someone who returns the love you feel for them is a beautiful thing.

[lightoftruth]

going with louisa 69 train of thought in the long term it is not kind as essentially its a warped relationships

RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT ONE WAY THINGS FOLKS!

if you think about it every second you are with him your are essentially preventing him from seeking out a person who loves him back.

and also, dont EXPECT to remain friends. I find it almost insulting when girls have said that to me. Its like we should go along with whatever they want despite being emotionally stabbed in the heart.