Comparisons?

[stewey]

I think they're called similes....not sure. I was sitting with an old guy, in his 70s, in the bar, and this really thin person walks by us. The old guy says: " He's about as skinny as a toothpick with all the wood shaved off"! Do you have anything like that......amusing statements?

[funnygirl]

Ant wine??!!!

[MONTCRIEFF49]

little birdies flying high
dropping parcels
from the sky

bent as a two
bob bit

[stewey]

This is slightly off topic, but a Newfounland expression akin to "If it aint broke don't fix it" is: "Leave her be where Jesus flang her"!

[stewey]

Lady China, you swored at me yesterday and it's all documentatered.

[China Doll]

Did I?! Oh nuts...

[lankeela]

Or bent as a nine bob note.

[tiggerblue10]

Your no oil painting!

I've never understood this as a lot of renaissance art depicts large flabby women!

[stewey]

Another buddy of mine often describes someone as "As drunk as a newt".............don't make any sense, but always sounds funny.

[stewey]

Especially if you also are as drunk as a newt!

[Pippa68]

I have always wondered why a newt would be drunk. I couldn't get close enough to one to find out as I find them on the same level as frogs...vile!

[beejay1124]

his ,her ,their......lack of knowledge knows knows no bounds

[beejay1124]

whoops...cancel one of those 'knows'

[jules1968]

as tight as a camels ar$eole in a sandstorm

mad as a box of frogs (my fave)

sorry folk this ones rude, for someone who's thirsty "as dry as a nuns ******" (add your own amount of stars for this one) lol

like a fart in a colander (for someone who isnt much use)

about as welcome as a fart in an astronauts suit

as rare as rocking horse sh1t

This is not quite the same but i like it anyway,my mum always says "oh well, every little helps, as the old woman said when she piddled in the sea"


i do apologise, mine are all pretty rude :-)