poor eye contact

[baggysenior]

.I suffer from a severe lack of confidence and i'm sure it all stems from the chronic acne i have suffered since i was a teen. I hate it when someone brings my lack of confidence into a conversation because i then know that they have picked up on my problem. I find it extremely hard to look people in the eye, especially any male. I work with alot of doctors and i try my best just to keep my head down but one dr in particular seems to treat me differently, compliments me etc so i'm wondering if he's clocked how low i feel about my appearance(he is a gp after all!). Its bad because i avoid seeing him completely now, infact i hide from him when i can. The problem is now people think i've got a soft spot for him which isn't true. The truth being, because he said i was attractive i think if he sees me again he might change his mind, and i'll be thinking he's changed his mind (i think this way about most men i talk to)I don't know what to do, confess to people(which will be hard) i don't like to look at people because i hate my skin and the way i look or let them continue to believe i have a soft spot for him.If i don't do something people may think i'm a shifty 30 somethin woman with a pathetic crush!
Is it just me that behaves like this? or do others experience similar problems?
thanks in advance

[cazzzz1975]

ITs unfortunate but a lack of self confidence is quite noticable especially if you are keeping your head down and not making eye contact.

The problem with having hang ups is that the majority of the problem is in the sufferers head, Im not making light of your problem!!, but when someone meets a total stranger most of the time they barely notice the thing that you feel so conscious of.

Or at least they actually dont treat it with the huge amount of importance that you do, In fact the problem with having hang ups about specific things is that the more you try to hide it the more of a big deal you are making it, so in effect your making the problem bigger by being so affected by it.

You probably have a soft spot for the doctor partly because of his complimetary comment but also because he has seen past the acne scars.

Eye contact is something that if you stop doing it can become a habit to not do it at all, making eye contact again will do your self esteem some good and stop you looking so down at heel.

my brother is autistic and hates making eye contact, he gets by this by just looking at one eye or the bridge of the nose and making brief eye contact at the end of every couple of words.

[neo.]

Ive always had poor eye contact. With me,its far more than shyeness.Its like being blinded by the sun when I look in at peoples eyes when i aint drunk.

[Richkent]

I know exactly how you feel, I also have a complete lack of self confidence. I'm ok at looking people in the eye but I get worried what people think of me. I get frightened that I might make an idiot of myself so much so that I try to avoid people because I'm so worried what they will think of me. I find that being shy and having no confidence leads people to think I am arrogant, but I'm far from it. I have been trying to get out more to places where I might meet people who share the same interests as me. I'm not looking to make new friends or anything like that, I just find it a good way to build up my self confidence. Maybe one day I will have the confidence to chat someone up and say more than "hello,errrr.....bye then" I think its just something I can slowly improve on over time. I have never tried any self-help books, but i might have a look into them. Unlike yourself I find it easy to tell people if I really need to, I find it makes it easier and takes pressure off me and then tend to come out my shell a bit more.