Crazy Idea!

[indieanna86]

Hi All,

I'm in my early 20's and have been single for 3 years now. I'm by no means desperate, but I just don't enjoy being on my own anymore, it can get very lonely.

About a year ago I was working in the Docklands and a colleague said I should go into Canary Wharf and ask 5 guys I was attracted to if they'd like to go for a drink, the idea being that I might meet someone nice etc.
I never did it as I didn't think I'd be brave enough and guys might just look at me funny! But now I'm thinking I might try out his advice and take a chance...

What do you all think about this? Would you be brave enough? Will it backfire on me? Any advice from both women and guys would be much appreciated!

Thanks guys! x

[SKA]

go out with some mates and tell them all to bring a friend youve never met, you never know who you'll meet!

[leelapops]

Hiya indie, what an original idea! You would certainly get points for bravery!

I think it's a great idea, but I would just be concerned about your safety. Long as you feel protected I say go for it! You can only know if you try! x

[mormess]

Hi Indieanna

It sounds like something that should work ideally, but I can't help thinking that any bloke who has a girl asking them for a drink would go and would expect something in return.

You'll probably find that all 5 would say yes, and you'll have to be fending off each one at the end of the night.

I think there's still an old fashioned view around that a guy can go up to a girl and ask her out for a drink, but not the other way round. Well, a girl can but it will be seen differently.

I prefer SKA's idea. That way it's not a date and you have the backup of your friends.

If you go out with one man at a time he will see it as a date and expect to go home with you.

Sorry for sounding cynical but I speak from experience!

[indieanna86]

Thanks for all your answers. When I say 'ask them to go for a drink' what I mean is going for a coffee or something at lunchtime for half an hour, rather than a drink in a bar at night, I wouldn't feel safe doing that.

As far as SKA's answer goes, been there done that! Its difficult as we all have the same friends, there isn't one I haven't met.

A mate said maybe we should go speed dating for a giggle, but I can't help thinking it'll be full of balding, middle aged men! Also I'd prob feel a bit sad having to go speed dating at the age of 21...

[filthiestfis]

Hi indieanna86
Im also in London. Would you go out on a date with me? Would you like to talk on msn?

[bednobs]

hmmm, the problem would be - how would you know you were attracted to them? They might be your physical "type" but how would you know what they wwere like personality wise - it would be a complete waste of time if for example they were horrible

[filthiestfis]

From experience of going on dates with strangers, firstly, you should talk with the guy over the phone or online and see some pics. If you like the sound of him, then by all means meet up somewhere comfy. Half an hour is not enough time to determine what the person is like, and it seems rushed. Maybe go to a wine bar and chat for a couple of hours? It seems to work in my experience.

[indieanna86]

Its not going on a date as such, literally just going for a coffee (I don't drink alcohol), seeing what they're like. If they're nice, maybe there's a chance to exchange numbers, if they're not - forget about them!

bednobs - thats the reason to talk to them, to see what their personalities are like.

Do men really not like being asked out? Would it make me look a bit ******?!

[weeal]

It sounds great but I think its unsafe in this climate for a female to do that. Especially with strangers, you wouldnt know their personality let alone marital status or anything.

[filthiestfis]

Thanks a lot for acknowledging me there indieanna86.

[mormess]

I think men like to do the asking. They like to feel in control. A girl shouldn't really have to ask, and if they do, then I would think it might make you come across as either easy or desperate.

Coffee or lunch - yes, I see that would be a better option.

This is cliched, but try meeting people with similar interests - evening classes, film clubs, etc.

Also a cliche but true - you're more likely to meet someone when you're not looking. Men can sense desperation. One day you'll go out in your worst clothes and not feeling particularly attractive, and men will flock.

A case in point - you say "coffee", filthiestfis says "date". I'm sure he's lovely, but you see how you get differing expectations! He also has some good advice...

Good luck and stop looking!

[filthiestfis]

Yeah. I have never met someone just for coffee. I prefer it that way. All my dates have involved alcohol ;-)

[angel-cake]

I wouldn't do this in Canary Wharf - all the guys there are complete w*****s!!!

[Supernick]

No, no, no Mormess! I would be over the moon if I was asked for a drink, and would certainly not be expecting anything 'in return'. It takes me weeks to build up to attempting to ask someone out, so if my turmoil, butterflies and hours of listening to pained, romantic, and frustrated indie could be lessened I'd take it in a heartbeat.