lost...

[dannyday5821]

Do you ever feel lost? completley lost? Like your the only one, the only thing, ever to have existed? To be existing now? Thats how i feel now...

Its strange...it feels kind of, comforting, yet, lonley...

confused? - say hello to dannyday5821.

[dannyday5821]

drinking? nope. nowhere close. that would be easy. go to A.A meetings. i could even get help from my parents or my friends if that was it...

ah, forget i said anything. its easier.

[TheEpsilon]

ok

[legend005]

Too weird for me folks.

[Drisgirl]

Right Danny -I think I know where you are coming from.
I was sexually abused at the age of 9 but didnt realise it as it as I was cossetted from the truth.I was left for the slow realisation to dawn as i became older.I had no help,no counselling and My Mum and Dad to this day have NEVER mentioned it ot me.(I do know he was jailed)

However -its possible to get over it as you have not to let yourself be a victim -I didnt and it hasnt affected my life in the slightest.

People deal with things in different ways and on reflection Im glad I didnt have attention lavished on me then I would have thought at that young age that something really dreadful had happened -well it was-but it wasnt allowed to be life changing.
If I am on the wrong tack -then you have all heard my tale again but Danny -nothing in your past should affect your future -try to be strong xxxx

[China Doll]

I have been accused of living in my head. So much so that I can walk past people I know well who are talking to me or trying to get my attention, stare at a TV for hours with no concept of what is going on and listen to the radio with no recollection of the last song I heard but with an ability to remember the lyrics to songs I didn''t know I knew.

It's something I call 'zoneing out' because I can't think of another way to describe it and it is very different from being absent minded. It manefests itself in other ways, I can have no recollection of a journey home, one minute I'm at waterloo, the next I'm at the stop I want to get off, I don't know what I was thinking about for the entire journey. I can go to the shops and walk around in a daze knowing I'm hungry with no idea what it is I wanted to eat in the first place. When these things happen it almost seems as if the world has started moving in slow motion, I become increasingly aware of noise, conversations, people and how they're reacting to each other. I can see things in their body language and in some cases I've seen faces become distorted.

It's nothing to do with being mad, it's to do with living in my own head and having something that I'm focusing on so much that I literally detach from myself although I'm very aware I will look like a derranged zombie to anyone in the vicinity. It happens because I lack concentation and/or focus sometimes except for the one thing that is spinning around in my head and if I can't make sense of it then I simply just drift off. Sometimes the accompanying sympton is that of extreme dizziness which is no doubt happening because I'm hyperventilating. Other things that cause it are extreme tireness. As an insomniac I can get that in spades too.

On one hand it can leave you feeling very lonely and alone because if you try to articulate it or write it down it all sounds really quite insane (well it does doesn't it?)

[China Doll]

But it can also make you feel sort of special too, like you have some sort of gift and that's the comforting bit. The reason for the latter is it's a defensive mechanism against your first reaction which is usually, am I going insane

Tell me, are your dreams often symbolic as well?

Reason for the whole thing, in my case depression and stress. Which means I end up concentrating one thing over and over again and vanishing further and further in to my own head until even I don't know what I'm feeling and thus the overwhelming bit which leads me to dettachment. What you're trying to describe sounds similar. If you're lost it's only in your head. If you're going over something repeatedly, your brain will find a way to cope.

Was that any use?

[China Doll]

Forgetting it won't make it any easier Danny and it doesn't sound like you want to. I'll check up on this thread a few times. Like I said, I might just have a clue about what you're feeling even if I don't know what caused it. That's as good a start as any I'd say.