divorce

[ciara louise]

ny parents split up about two years ago and my dad has a girlfriend and has had two babies with her and even though there my sisters i really didnt want my dad to have them. i wish my parents didnt split up. i dont want them to get married to i no they wil because they hav babies. i told my best friend which was really hard, i dont no y it just was. none of my friends hus parents have split up dont care so i hav no one to talk to. im goin on holiday with them soon and i dont want her to feel like shes part of the family. i hate her. when ever i thin k of it i feel sad. i feel realy soory for my mum because she stil loves my dad. and my dad would of *** back if it wasnt for the babies, thats what makes me sad. he said he likes my mum better. please help give me some advice on them problems and have anyones parents split up or in the same situation as me if so tel me how u cope

reply soon please

thannkyoouu

[pink-kittens]

Ciara

As tough as it has been for you that your parents are no longer together, hating your dad's GF will just make you feel bad.
I doubt she wants to be anything more than friends with you. You have a mum and she knows that but she may want you to have some input in your sister's lives. Wouldn't you like to see them? they are part of your dad after all?

Hating is such a negative thing to feel darling, try to see the positive in this. 2 homes, 2 lots of birthday presents, 2 lots of xmas presents. And who knows, maybe your dad's GF can be someone you really do like and can be your ally when he gets on at you to do your shcool work?

How old are you?

[ciara louise]

im 13

[Ice.Maiden]

Ciara darling, these sometimes-awful things happen in the grown-up world. I guess it won't feel very nice for you at the moment, but perhaps it's only now that your dad's finding that the grass isn't always greener. Don't hate him. I'm sure he still loves you very much, but things must've gone wrong between him and your mum in the first place. Do you ever talk about your feelings to your dad? Perhaps he can reassure you, and as you get older, I'm sure you'll be an asset to both your mum AND dad. x

[pink-kittens]

Morning Ciara

Ouch! 13 is a horrid age. You have all these feelings and emotions of growing up then something like your parents splitting up happens to mix them up a little bit more.
I bet, if you admit it you like your dad's GF really. Are you afraid of being disloyal towards your mum? Why not chat to her about it? I'm sure your mum will want you to be friends with your dad's GF rather than enemies.

I think ice-maiden has a great thing there with chatting too your dad about it all. Maybe you could also use this up coming holiday to show everyone just how grown up you are becoming? Try not to behave in any way like a 'typical teen' - hard I know! - but be grown up enough to chat to your dad, and mum about your feelings. Tell them you feel like you won't enjoy your holiday and maybe you can arrange things whilst you are away to ensure you DO enjoy it whether it's being allowed out late on a couple of nights (with company of course) or being able to spend one day whilst away with just your dad.

Try to get to know your dad's GF better as well as your siblings, your life will be so much happier if you are all friends than you feel it is now, honestly

best wishes
PKx

[I love Tiggy]

Its very hard going through a divorce with your parents as you are. My parents split when i was 3 years old.

In time you may learn to like the new GF, people move on and at the time you don't realise it, but things happen for a reason.

I hated my dad's GF and his now wife, but as time has gone by i've grown to realise that hate is way to powerful a word, it just destroys relationships and makes everyone unhappy.

Your dad doesn't want to hurt you but he needs to have his own life, he will alwys love your mum and she will feel the same for him. In time emotional wounds heal.

I've not lost my mum and after 26 years have just made peace with my dad. Please try to accept what is happening as much as you can and time will heal - i promise you that.

Take care sweetie
xxx

[dartmeet]

Ciara, I'm really feeling what you are saying as it happened to me when I was 11. I thought my dad had got on with his life with a new wife, and his new kids. I guess I struggled with that for many years. My mum eventually got remarried but I had heaps of negative feelings about my step-mother. I also felt pushed out by the new kids. My brother compared himself to the new kids (who were are still are brighter than either of us). You feel that someone has messed up your life and thanks very much but you have to make sense of it.
I think it's a horrible situation and your parents are going to have to do what they think best. You are at a tricky age right now but your life won't always be what they've made it. You have a whole future ahead of you and only you can make it the best one possible. If you can just hang in there and as far as it depends on you, be kind and understanding. You may surprise them at how mature you can be.
I got through it, probably made heaps of mistakes doing it, but my parents are happier apart. You'll be alright. Lots of love xx