terrible two's

[anderlee]

Hi
Currently going through this with my little boy. Apart from being 2 he is also very strong willed, which adds to the problem.
The past few weeks we've had him refusing to get dressed, put on coat, get into car seat, wanting to go for a walk before we get in the car, wanting chocolate-that lasted 45minutes!! Yesterday he screamed in the shopping centre for 15 mins cos he couldnt get his own way.
I know its only a phase and he does respond when I give him ultimatums. How do/did others get on with their 2 yesr olds?????? thanks

[mech29]

Hi, anderlee, I know how you feel! I have a three year old daughter who does the same thing, She wouldn't get dressed, didn't like having a bath or eat her food, and didn't like doing has she was told,

So, i watch her very closely for the thing's she wanted and liked to play with, Then i told her, If you are good for me you can have a small present for listening to me and be a good girl, and if she was naughty, i would take thing's from her and tell her why i have done it, and told her if she is good she can have it back with a little surprise too!
Just to let her know what is wrong and what is right in doing thing's,

Try to let him help you in doing thing's around the house and when you go shopping, let him get thing's and put them in the trolley for you, this help me with my daughter

Do you let him take a toy or soft toy to hold to keep him happy?
At the age of 2, they are full of energy and like to wind you up to see how far they can push you, before you shout at them,

Good luck!!!

[ethanryan]

hi my son is 2 and going theroug the same. when he refuses to do things like put his coat on, i just say ok thats fine you will have to stay here then, i put my own coat on and walk toewards the door and he soon comes running after me. of course i would never leave him but he dont know that.
my son used to scream in the shopping centre so i would just walk away from him and say bye. i would always make sure i could see him but i found that if i ignored him he stopped. when he did stop i would say ok do you want to help mommy now .
we used a box and when he refused to do something and ignoring him didnt help i would put his favourite toy in the box and explain to him that he can have it back tommorow if he was a good boy. if he is naughty again add another. he will soon miss his favourite toy. but remember when he is good for long periods or does as he is told first time take him and let him take a toy out of the box of his choice. he will soon realise that listening gets him nice things and by being naughty he loses the things he likes best!
good luck, i know its hard im in the same position

[redcrx]

it may well help just to know that youre not alone, they all go through it. Little CRX is 2.5 and he can be a little wotsit at times.
I do pretty much the same as the previous posters, ive done the pretend I'll go out without him too lol

The books all say we should ignore th bad behavior and praise the good, how we go about that I dont know but i think we all find a balance that works eventually (probably just in time for terrible teens lol)

[ethanryan]

just remember not to give in to his sreams cause if you do he has won and will do it even more
be strong

[annie0000]

I would like to "Ah I remember the days......." Unfortunately my 6 year old is still at it from time to time - we tried all the above and he still does it, though it is slowly becoming less especially since he caught sight of himself in the mirror in mid flow one day and realised how ridiculous he looked jumping up and down like a two year old! His favourite was to bang his head on the ground - that was simply becasue he wanted to walk the other way down the street! His older brother had about two tantrums which we totally ignored and then he never bothered again. We still have to employ the naught step from time to time!

The best advise I can offer is to head them off at the pass - recognise what his triggers are and try to distract him or avoid those situations if possible.

Whispering rather than shouting is another trick. Usually he will stop so that he can hear what you are saying. I used to sing really softly so he couldn't quite hear what the song was - as he liked to join in, that would tend to stop the tantrum until he could decide if he wanted to join in or keep going with the tantrum!

[aims1202]

I was going to say something similar to others that the best way to get them to do things is to let them do as much as possible themselves and distract them with something else more interesting. Also never give into the tantrums if you say no then stick to it every time or you have more problems later on. Loads of praise and rewards for good behaviour. the key is to focus on what he does that you do want him to do and try to ignore most of the things you dont want. Good luck and enjoy, it goes so quickly and is really is a lovely age too!

[meltoadhall]

at the end of the day does it really matter if he goes out in his pyjamas?

walk away if he has a paddy ( I stepped over mine) take a mag and look at it while has his tantrum - (no attention), if you can postpone the outing then put on your coat and if he wont, take it off and be boring, read a book, sit and have a drink. then ask if he is ready to do as you ask.

when he does do what you have asked make it fun and try not to stress about it.

it is a hard slog but stay with it and eventually it passes