i buried a friend today feeling down

[twinny-15]

how do i get over greif

[david small]

You don't. Time will deminish the pain. Sorry, but that is life.

[softballgirl]

Death is a really hard thing to get over.. You just have to let time fix it. Grief is just something that comes with death. Let time heal the pain.. Its hard but it'll happen.

[andy-hughes]

As a western society, we handle grief very badly - there is no education about how it works, so people have to find out the hard way.


People like to think that grief is a train - it moves forward every day, and every day you are a little further away from the cause of your grief, so that in a few weeks, you can 'return to normal', and people don't have to be embarassed because they don't know what to say.

Grief is a sailboat on an ocean. Some days you sail along calmly, making progress, others you are rudderless in a Force Ten being driven past where you started from, and the sea is it's own master and changed without warning.

Accept that some days will be fine, others will be beyond bearing, and you will never 'get over it'. you will simply assimilate it into the fabric of your life where it will hurt, but gently, and there it will stay, for ever.

Take your time, go with it, don;t try and fight, endure your anger, fear, solitude, wondering, and pain. Talk if you can, keep silent if you can't, and pass this on to anyone else who is grieving - it's sound advice hard-won.

[sense4all]

It's tough and everyone moves at their own pace. Some interesting observations on this page.

http://www.businessballs.com/elisabeth_kubler_ ross_five_stages_of_grief.htm

[lil123]

That old saying 'Time is a great healer' is so true
I find with me grief takes over me in waves I can be fine one day and then spend the next crying my eyes out.
Talking also helps as keeping things in can often makes things worse
I have emailed the Samaritans at times I have felt really bad as you are anonymous and can really get it all out
Let yourself grieve and get the support you need
Best wishes xx

[Rubyrose]

You don't get over grief. You just learn to live with it and in time you will see it differently and accept that it's part of you. It's how you deal with it that makes you cope. Don't let it consume you.

[filthiestfis]

Just to clarify is this an animal friend or a human friend you have buried?

[Bellringer]

Don't know how old you are twinny. But I have reached the age when I go to more funerals than weddings.
I gather with old friends to say farewell to another old friend. Then we have a few drinks and remember the good times with the departed. Remember him/her with fondness and humour, keep him/her in your heart and get on with your life.

[twinny-15]

yes bellringer thats the problem with me losing family and friends close together.
Thanks to everyone for thier advice ...much appreciated
Its just that people younger than my mum and dad are dying and (dad 90 mum 85) and it brings it home
Twinny