Jokes time, are you ready?

[raysparx1]

What do you call a woman with one leg?


























Eileen

[China Doll]

Ahem... Thank you boobies.... Sorry about that Ray.

[hippyhoppy]

Ray, sweetheart, Die Hard is on, but I am being FORCED to sit in the dining room reading your posts....hold on, it's a lap top, I'm off, and you're coming with me (as it were!!)

[MONTCRIEFF49]

smashing plates now
mamma


hahhaahah

wat you call a key in the lock


turn it xxx

[raysparx1]

Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms.

The first dwarf, however, is unable to get a stiffy. His depression is enhanced by the fact that, from the next room, he hears cries of, "ONE, TWO, THREE...UUUUH!" all night long.

In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?"

The first whispered back, "It was so embarrassing. I just couldn't get a hard on."

The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?!!" he asked. "I couldn't even get on the bed!!!"

[raysparx1]

This nloke was walking down the street and this hooker says, "Say, wanna have a good time?" "Sure," he says and they were off to the nearest hotel.

She takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her. She says, "Is this the first pussy you seen since you crawled out of one?" The guy says,

"Nope, just the first one I've seen big enough to crawl back into

[raysparx1]

bloke

[Panic Button]

What do you call a chinese woman with a food processor on her head?


















Blenda

[MONTCRIEFF49]

what do you
call a pig
with a twirly tail a ?






curley wurley

[hippyhoppy]

Panic - that was glorious!

[Caribeing]

what do you call an Irishman with a limp
Liam

[raysparx1]

Three guys had to spend the night at a hotel and share a double bed.

In the morning, the guy on the right said "I had this great dream last night, that a girl gave me a handjob"

The guy on the left replied "That's weird so did I"

Finally, the guy in the middle said "Lucky for you guys...I only dream't I was skiing

[Cugetit]

hiphoppy

Don't you mean "grolious"?

[raysparx1]

What's slimy cold long and smells like pork
Kermit the frogs finger

[raysparx1]

What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup?
Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup

[sir.prize]

A woman came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman.

With superhuman strength borne of fury, she dragged her husband down the stairs to the garage and put his manhood in a vice. She then secured it tightly and removed the handle.

Next she picked up a hacksaw.

The husband terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to cut it off are you?"

The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, said, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire."

[raysparx1]

man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this she can't stand it any longer! The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.

The supervisor is puzzled by this and says, "What's wrong with the co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"

The woman replies, "He's a midget!"

[raysparx1]

Thanks all, off to beddy byes now sleep well all, cheers, take care and sleep well.

Some real good ones thank you, made me laugh.

[raysparx1]

Cheers EDDIES, did realise about jokes section, just trying to lighten this bit up instead of a lot of the arguing that comes on this section, thanks again like those. :-)

[bigmamma]

Oh no EDDIES , please don't banish ray to the jokes section , it' a welcome thread .