would you take him back?

[claire888]

Hi i was with my partner for 8 years in this time he has cheated lied and just been a complete arse!!! Anyway i just had enough and told him to leave now hes begging me to take him back phoning and texting all the time. We have a 3 year old and she miss her dad. The thing is ive met someone and i really like him but what do i do stay with my ex for my daughter or go with this new man?

[mirela]

if you still love him much, and for the baby reason, you might have chance to work things out, but you like someone else now, dont think there is big point to take him back to be honestly.

[888sally888]

Claire - sonds to me like you deserve to move on and find happiness.

Take it slow with the new man so as not to confuse your daughter. I never had bfs to stay over with my dauhters in the house as I thought it would mess them up.

Be strong and dont take the loser back - you deserve much better!! Sal

[sosad]

Hello, well you've been through it I know, the advice everybody has given you is good advice. A leapod never changes it's spots. I was gulable enough to think this was not true. I thought if I was understanding and loving etc that he just hadn't found the right person yet. I a man doesn't commit to you 100% he never will, and I don't mean marriage or moving in, going steady. I mean doesn't have an affair. and he has, so my money is on him doing it again if you take him back.
You've been so strong in kicking him out, and the fact you sort of like someone else is a massive bonous in moving forward.
You look after yourself and your little girl. think long term and how upset you and she would be if you had him back in your life only for him to mess it up again. naw... not worth it.

Take care... good luck!!

[Lonnie]

There's an old saying, which is probably about 90% true.

'Once a cheater, always a cheater'

and if you did take him back, for the rest of the time your together, it'll always be in the back of your mind.
As sally says, move on, its best.

[banjobabe]

Hey Claire,

Yes I did take mine back, then married him!

And guess what???


He cheated, lied and was a complete arse until (after 12 years) I got rid.

I am sure over the last 8 years you have given him plenty of chances and benefit of the doubt. I would suggest that it is highly unlikely he will change.

I stayed with him mostly for the sake of my children and I have to say he did them no favours either.

Personally I would stay with your new man.

BB xx

[bubbles4920]

move on i say, its just not a healthy environment for childeren to grow up in. they say a child is most influenced between the ages of 0>7years of age and i really believe that from past experience. its also not healthy for you.
good luck, you deserve better and you can only find better it seems.x

[Octavius]

It is highly likely that he is phoning and texting because you have found someone else and he has only just realised you have moved on.

Thats a shock to his ego, its up to you whether you believe he means it or he is trying to reassert his ego.

[raysparx1]

claire, the only reason he is sorry is because you got rid, if you had'nt .things would never have changed, never go back for the sake of the little one, it is far bettter to live with one happy parent than two miserable ones, and he sounds like a right knucklehead so forget him and move forward, no future in the past, never ever stay with him just for your daughter, that is so wrong, be strong, and carry on with your life. take care, Ray xx

[Ice.Maiden]

Let him go claire. You'd never be able to totally trust him. If he cheated on you over an 8 year period, then as soon as things went a bit wrong, he'd probably be on the look-out again.
I hope you can remain friends for your daughter's sake, but don't allow him to sweet talk you into thinking he's changed. If he really has, then this is judgement on him for treating you so badly, and if he's anything of a man, he'll accept his mistakes and just be a decent father to his child. Best of luck - x

[Jenga]

Don't look back, just move on. Onward and upwards. You have met someone new and you should give your new man a chance.

He is probably homeless and skint so he wants to move back in for his own reasons.

[country_boy]

beware of the rebound though, you don't have to be with someone. Take it easy and good luck

[claire888]

Thank you all so much for your reply's, you've all been so kind. Your answers have just all confirmed what has been in my head since this happened. The only reason i would've took him back anyway would've been for child's sake. Just for a update i had 50 miss calls today and he's been trying to contact my best friend for info on my new bloke. He was always possesive with me anyway accusing me of stuff obviously cos he was guilty his self,so i can imagine what life wud be like if i took him back he wud hound me about meeting a new bloke. This is from a guy who cheats on me and goes on chatlines while my mother is dieing and i find out i was pregnant days later. a man who left me and his daughter on her first xmas day to be with his mistress leaving us with not a penny and toast to eat for xmas dinner knowing i had no family to go to. im not trying to get ppl to feel sorry for me and absolutly no idea now im writing all this that i even have to ask anyones opinion but to be quite honest i just need to make sure im not being to hasty and needed opinions of those who dont know us to let me know i was makin right decision cos its not easy with kids involved.

[KRUSTYMAN]

Sounds to me like you knew the answer all along. You deserve better, he obviously puts his own needs before anyone elses including his daughter and it would only be a matter of time before he went off and pleased himself again. With so many people who desperately want children but can't have them for various reasons this man doesn't deserve the love of a child or the lack of security that he would always provide!

[raysparx1]

Claire, you have made the right decission, be strong and stick to it, I would suggest you print off your last reply, have it framed and put it on your fridge door, so that in moments of madness when you think it wasn't that bad, read it again and remind yourself what an absolute wazzock you were once with, but had the sense to ditch, good luck claire, be happy, stay wise, Ray xx

[Dee Sa]

no.

[Mr k]

Hi Claire
Even though its hard and your mind is thinking all sorts your doing the best thing and moving on. You have just saved yourself years of agony..Life is to short to look back
Good luck with your new man x

[legend004]

Never take them back.
Once the trust has gone its over.
Been there seen it and learnt from it.
Remember that you dont need to have a partner , you can be happpy and single.
Theres a big danger od rebounding i think , so you can go out with other folk but id advise a degree of distance.
Being single can be far more fulfilling than with someone as long as you and your child are ok.
Dont feel pressured by anyone.
Better single and happy than together alone.


D T H ?