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Just been to see my son's teacher.....
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I've just been to see my 10 year old son's teacher, her assessment is, he's kind, polite, very articulate, funny, creative, entertaining and obviously very bright BUT......
he is awful at settling down and just getting started on anything so he doesn't get work finished in time and consequently doesn't get the marks he should. He sat his assessment twice because the first time he hadn't written anything on the paper when the time ran out. He's like it at home too, he always has been a 'phaffer' taking forever to get started but once he does he does a good job. I've tried everything, bribes, threats, encouragement the lot, what worries me is at this rate he will do badly at his SAT's and be in with the mungs when he moves up to big school. He's a really good kid and he is very bright , no problem at all apart from this, anybody got any suggestions?
What I really want to know is, how many of you didn't shine academically at school but have found success in your working life?
I've got to go out in a minute so apologies if I don't get back on AB tonight.
he is awful at settling down and just getting started on anything so he doesn't get work finished in time and consequently doesn't get the marks he should. He sat his assessment twice because the first time he hadn't written anything on the paper when the time ran out. He's like it at home too, he always has been a 'phaffer' taking forever to get started but once he does he does a good job. I've tried everything, bribes, threats, encouragement the lot, what worries me is at this rate he will do badly at his SAT's and be in with the mungs when he moves up to big school. He's a really good kid and he is very bright , no problem at all apart from this, anybody got any suggestions?
What I really want to know is, how many of you didn't shine academically at school but have found success in your working life?
I've got to go out in a minute so apologies if I don't get back on AB tonight.
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What do you mean be in with the "mungs"?
If you think your son needs extra time for the SATS is there any provision to ask for this? My son is allowed extra time because he has a statement of special educational needs but I don't know whether all children are allowed extra time if deemed necessary.It may be worth asking anyway.
If you think your son needs extra time for the SATS is there any provision to ask for this? My son is allowed extra time because he has a statement of special educational needs but I don't know whether all children are allowed extra time if deemed necessary.It may be worth asking anyway.
Hi Helli, I got to answer this one, hope you are well, sounds a bit like me, I could do the stuff at school but used to daydream and mess about all the time, I was asked to leave when I was 15, (no Choice but to) but the thing is I wasn't thick, they just never asked me anything I knew, but I have always worked, never been out of work, now I own 2 cottages plus have investments, so If I never wanted to work again, the choice is mine, as long as your lad is healthy,happy and content, and enjoys his life, don't worry to much, please never put pressure on him to do well, he will get there in his own time, we are all so different and we all get there in the end, probably most will disagree with my views but I can only say it as I see it, good luck helli and take care, Ray xx
I'm sure your son'll be fine Hellyon. he sounds bright enough, so perhaps he's just bored now and again, but have a word with his teachers - x
That was lovely to hear Daffy - I'm glad your son's given extra time for stuff, bless him. -x
Unfortunately, mine'll probably never be marked on any SATS, but he's allowed to do his best anyway, so that he doesn't feel pushed out.-
Well done to you Ray! It shows that being academic isn't the be all and end all - x
That was lovely to hear Daffy - I'm glad your son's given extra time for stuff, bless him. -x
Unfortunately, mine'll probably never be marked on any SATS, but he's allowed to do his best anyway, so that he doesn't feel pushed out.-
Well done to you Ray! It shows that being academic isn't the be all and end all - x
Hi daffy - mungs is a local term for all the little herberts who disrupt classes, swear and are generally just doing 'time' at the school until they can leave.
My son doesn't need extra time because he is slow it just he won't settle and get started on anything. Funnily enough because he is considered kind and he really does take people as he finds them he is often given the task of partnering the two statement children in his class.
My son doesn't need extra time because he is slow it just he won't settle and get started on anything. Funnily enough because he is considered kind and he really does take people as he finds them he is often given the task of partnering the two statement children in his class.
The funny thing is Ice.Maiden he probably won't actually need the extra time.He is actually the brightest kid in the school anyway. It will all depend on whether the questions are worded in a way he can undersatnd.As with all children with Aspergers he is very literal and if things are worded strangely he just doesn't "get it". We have already been told he will be in top sets for every subject at high school in September as he was entered onto the register for Able,Gifted and Talented children a few months ago.It is more than we could ever have hoped for considering he was still in nappies and unable to speak when he started school age 4.
Hi Ray - it's really good to hear from you! Actually I think I probably need to investigate more practical occupations for him - I just can't see him ever working in an office environment. I would never put pressur on him as I don't want him to be resentful - despite what it sounds like I'm not being a pushy Mum, I'm just frustrated that our education system doesn't really celebrate individual childs talents it is all geared towards the academic.
Are you still finishing work?
Are you still finishing work?
I know this might be teaching you to suck eggs, but have you asked your son why he takes forever to get started on his work?
anyway, MrMiniN never excelled academically and was a 100% daydreamer/phaffer but is now a excelllently skilled carpenter and worked out how to build kit cars on his own when he was 14. he brings in good money through car projects and enjoys using his skills. he is great at figuring out how things work, how to fix things, build things, make things.
some people just work better doing practical 'jobs',could this be the case for your son?
anyway, MrMiniN never excelled academically and was a 100% daydreamer/phaffer but is now a excelllently skilled carpenter and worked out how to build kit cars on his own when he was 14. he brings in good money through car projects and enjoys using his skills. he is great at figuring out how things work, how to fix things, build things, make things.
some people just work better doing practical 'jobs',could this be the case for your son?
Thanks for explaining that hellyon,its not a word i've ever heard. I know you said your son doesn't need the extra time because of his ability but surely if he has trouble getting started with things then the school will make provision for this? I have to say I am a bit hazy on the rules because i'm only aware of the ones that apply to children like my son.
Daffy and Ice Maiden - you must be both really proud of your kids.
I think that's the trick isn't it finding something they enjoy? I was asked once to take a girl with special needs on work experience - it was hopeless, we tried everything but her problem was she couldn't remember what she had been shown so everyday you had to teach her again. Then purely by chance I discovered she was really good at tapestry, doing her own designs and everythinnbg. I put her in touch with a local craft shop and as far as I know she is still making beautiful cushions that they sell.
I think that's the trick isn't it finding something they enjoy? I was asked once to take a girl with special needs on work experience - it was hopeless, we tried everything but her problem was she couldn't remember what she had been shown so everyday you had to teach her again. Then purely by chance I discovered she was really good at tapestry, doing her own designs and everythinnbg. I put her in touch with a local craft shop and as far as I know she is still making beautiful cushions that they sell.
Hi helli, I can see your not pressuring him and are just concerned as to how well he will do, as you say he can go into a more practical career, ie, Mecahnic, plumber, bricklayer, plasterer, the choice is endless, I was pushed into the Academic stream,not because I was that way inclined but it split me up from my friends, so it made me a lot worse in fact, it will work out in the end helli, you are being very sensible and caring, have a chat with the teachers, but don't hold your breath witing for a solution, your son is caring and kind,polite etc, then to me youv'e done one hell of a good job.
Yep still packing in the electrics at the end of the month, mainly again because it has changed, so much paperwork, and I struggle with it, so I am not going to do it, cowards way out I suppose, but it makes my head spin,. something will turn up, but I am going to enjoy a break first with no pressure, good to see your name on here again, take care helli. Ray xx
Yep still packing in the electrics at the end of the month, mainly again because it has changed, so much paperwork, and I struggle with it, so I am not going to do it, cowards way out I suppose, but it makes my head spin,. something will turn up, but I am going to enjoy a break first with no pressure, good to see your name on here again, take care helli. Ray xx
I am immensely proud of my son Ice.Maiden as i'm sure you are of yours,and rightly so.All any of us can ask of any of our children is that they do their best.Everyone has their own special talent/talents and should be nurtured in that.I hate the way everything at school is geared towards pure academics,it puts way too much pressure on children!
That's lovely to hear! I wish more people'd take the time to understand children who might appear to be "different".
I'm extremely proud of my autistic son, who, despite his difficulties, manages to do mainstream work - albeit slowly. I'm sure your son's teachers know that he has problems in getting motivated Hellyon, and I'm positive that they'd allow him more time to complete tests and other work, if you go in and have a word. Best of luck - x
I'm extremely proud of my autistic son, who, despite his difficulties, manages to do mainstream work - albeit slowly. I'm sure your son's teachers know that he has problems in getting motivated Hellyon, and I'm positive that they'd allow him more time to complete tests and other work, if you go in and have a word. Best of luck - x
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Hi Hellyon, has your son always been like this? The reason I ask is that we have just had parents day for our two - both of them do really well at school, they are happy, have friends and have no problem with the work - boy am I lucky!
The only negative thing they could say about my younger son was that his handwriting is atrocious - which it is, but that can be worked on. With my older son who is 7, again she had really good things to say about him apart from the fact that he drifts into a world of his own for much of the time and he goes to the toilet a lot.
He has sat and passed a reading test about a year and a half ahead of schedule which is great, the only problem being she was surprised that he passed and we were surprised that it took so long.
Don't get me wrong here, I feel that his happiness, enjoyment and behaviour at school are more important than accademic achievement, but I think that boredom and lack of challenge is what is contributing to the daydreaming and toilet visiting.
He reads prolifically at home, he has read the first 3 Harry Potters, and is now reading the Hobbit. He is talking in and understanding the reading because I will test him on the content of the books.
At school he is on much lower level books and he can't really be bothered, he therefore doesn't show that he can read and digest them and therefore she can't move him on - it has become a vicious circle which she seemed to be looking to us to sort out, but I am not sure what we can do other than to speak to him about it which we have.
I was hoping that he would grow out of it, but perhaps not!
Is boredom a problem with your son?
The only negative thing they could say about my younger son was that his handwriting is atrocious - which it is, but that can be worked on. With my older son who is 7, again she had really good things to say about him apart from the fact that he drifts into a world of his own for much of the time and he goes to the toilet a lot.
He has sat and passed a reading test about a year and a half ahead of schedule which is great, the only problem being she was surprised that he passed and we were surprised that it took so long.
Don't get me wrong here, I feel that his happiness, enjoyment and behaviour at school are more important than accademic achievement, but I think that boredom and lack of challenge is what is contributing to the daydreaming and toilet visiting.
He reads prolifically at home, he has read the first 3 Harry Potters, and is now reading the Hobbit. He is talking in and understanding the reading because I will test him on the content of the books.
At school he is on much lower level books and he can't really be bothered, he therefore doesn't show that he can read and digest them and therefore she can't move him on - it has become a vicious circle which she seemed to be looking to us to sort out, but I am not sure what we can do other than to speak to him about it which we have.
I was hoping that he would grow out of it, but perhaps not!
Is boredom a problem with your son?
In a pickle - I think this is part of his problem - he is very intelligent but in quite a creative, practical way. His Grandpa helps out at Oxfam and often brings things home to see if they can be fixed and my son is brilliant at diagnosing the problems - He is a brilliant problem solver and lateral thinker - when he was 6 they banned the beybladz tops from school - he just built and designed his own from lego - his teacher said she should have told him off but she said it was remarkable how he worked out the need to lower the centre of gravity and then explained to the other boys what they needed to do and why, she was so impressed she couldn't be cross with him!! But unfortunately school is not geared up particularly to rewarding these skills. You're right I need to find the carrot.
Annie - I think there is an element of boredom, partly because he loves science and mechanical things and practical - I think he is just not being engaged enough.
Like your sons he reads prolifically at home but the books they get him to read at school are far to easy, and a lot of them are quite 'girly' subjects.
BTW I wouldn't worry about your younger son's handwriting - I think boys take longer to develop their fine motor skills and it seems to come all at once certainly that has been the case with both my nephew and my son.
I've decided I'm not going to worry about it too much, I think the best I can do is to start thinking about the sort of careers that he might enjoy and giving him the best info I can so he can make an informed choice.
Annie - I think there is an element of boredom, partly because he loves science and mechanical things and practical - I think he is just not being engaged enough.
Like your sons he reads prolifically at home but the books they get him to read at school are far to easy, and a lot of them are quite 'girly' subjects.
BTW I wouldn't worry about your younger son's handwriting - I think boys take longer to develop their fine motor skills and it seems to come all at once certainly that has been the case with both my nephew and my son.
I've decided I'm not going to worry about it too much, I think the best I can do is to start thinking about the sort of careers that he might enjoy and giving him the best info I can so he can make an informed choice.
Hi Hellyon - My son is very good with lego/meccano as well - He was after some start wars lego, but actually just built the ships himself out of the other pieces he had with no instruction sheets. When he was 5 he buit a bus using the only red pieces he had which were roof tiles and he turned them so that the outside was smooth - he use the windows from his plane and used the white roof from his plane as the roof of the bus so that they looked like Edinburgh double deckers.
I think an engineering career is looking likely - He thinks that he might like to be an architect - though I thought that being a dentist would be good in terms of income and employment prospects!!!
Sounds like your son might enjoy something in the same lines - my son also likes drawing maps and has done since he was really small - He would draw a map to show the way to nursery.
I think an engineering career is looking likely - He thinks that he might like to be an architect - though I thought that being a dentist would be good in terms of income and employment prospects!!!
Sounds like your son might enjoy something in the same lines - my son also likes drawing maps and has done since he was really small - He would draw a map to show the way to nursery.
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