cancer problems

[lisa76]

hi. i posted a while ago about my husband having cancer. he had a reaction to chemo and is hospitalized again. his blood counts went way down, he had a high fever and was weak. he cannot be around any sick people when he is discharged from the hospital. his family and him decided it would be best to stay at one of their houses instead of ours on kind of our children ages 8 and 3. i can understand to a point but the cancer is incurable and he only has a year or so left and i want me and my kids to spend as much time with him as possible. that wont happen if he goes there. i dont want to make him sick but i dont want to be away from him either. what can i do for my children and myself and still be able to see him? please help me. i love him with all of my heart. i just dont know what to do.

[maxwellsmart]

So sorry to hear ur situation. Ask ur doctor about visiting proceedures,,,Perhaps if you all wear surgical masks and he washes his hands and gargles with a docotor prescibed mouthwash u might manage to visit. But again u have to consult the doctor on this.

[mullein]

could you not speak to him and tell him it is unfair on the children being unable to spend time with him as time is preciouse..if either of the kids get sick then you could quarantine them maybe at a grandparents house or where ever..you are quite right you should spend as much time with him as possible...have a xmas to remember together..make memorys for the children by writing letters for them when they are older... and generally spend the time as peacefull as you can,,,i am not sure if you know but your local spiritualist church will send trained healers to your home to sit and give your husband healing it may not cure him but who knows i have a friend at a spiritualist church that cured a child of cancer,,and he has letters to prove it ..anything is possible and its a free service,,,it may relax your husband and give him peace,,,i think you are going to have to make an issue on this one and try to get him home where he belongs..you can do everything you can to prevent germs or illness from coming in your home ..and i hope you get your wish..as it must be dreadfull for you  mullein

[ezapf]

     Wow, tough situation. My sympathy and prayers are with you and your family.

     I can not say what is best for you but I think if I were in your husband's position I would want to be home. In fact, I'm sure of it. Was he really part of the decision process or is he going along with a decision that was made for him? I would talk with him and his family to figure out what can be done to make him comfortable at home.

     I wish you the best of luck and I truly hope the cancer is not incurable.

[FP]

Lisa,  I'm so sorry to hear of this.  What a difficult time for you.  I can only say that if I had a terminal illness I would want to be at home with my family and carry on with a normal life as best I could.  However, I think it should be you and your husband's decision only.  As hard as it is for the rest of his family, his immediate family must come first and they must respect your wishes.

 

Find a quiet time together and discuss this with just your husband.

 

Take care x

 

[Robinia]

So sorry about your situation Lisa. When you are as ill as your husband is & particularly in hospital surroundings you sort of go into a strange world of isolation & feel very detached from what's happening 'out there'. Everyone wants what they think is best for you & sometimes you go along with it because you are too weak to argue or even care. I'm not suggesting that he doesn't care about you or the children but he's probably finding it impossible to see himself fitting in with a normal family life & that's why he may have agreed to go to other family members. However, when they get him over this setback & he feels stronger you will be able to ask him what he really wants.  I'm sure with a little caution i.e. avoiding close contact with colds, flu etc you will be able to be together & have some good times as a family. You could point out to his family that it's not only children who spread viruses & that you don't want the children to feel they are the reason for any potential sickness.  You can only all benefit from being together for as long as it's possible. Hope you have friends & family to support you & keep your spirits up.  There should be a support team available to you at the hospital.  All the best. x

 

[lisa76]

thank you all so much for your advice and concern, i will keep you posted

[coggles]

Hello lisa76,

 

Fakeplastic has said what I would have said.

 

You need to discuss this with your husband and work out how all members of your/his family can spend precious time with him.

 

Thinking of you and your family at this difficult time.

 

coggles