No reference 2

[barneyboo]

I sent the letter off feeling quite positive because I was always a good student and my teachers always gave me glowing reports, etc.. I know that the letter was received and signed for on 11th of this month by somebody else because I sent it by recorded delivery, but as yet nothing has come back. Of course I understand that I wouldn't have any post over Easter, but I am now feeling really depressed wondering why. Does it take a long time for people working for the council to reply to letters anyway, or does it look like she probably doesn't want to do it?. I wondered whether secretly the school and her blamed me for the bullying and were fed up of having to sort it out all the time and just don't want to have anything to do with me anymore. I'm not being impatient, it's just the not knowing what's happening that's making me feel down. I can't apply until I get it back, and I daren't contact her again because it looks as though I am being pushy. What should I do please?.

[cazzz1975]

dont get paranoid about it, it can take weeks for things to be done, if she had no interest thens she wouldnt have gone to all the effort she did go to in the first instance.

She may also be very busy at work or she may be having a busy time at home, Im my experience it does take a while to get a reply from the council regarding anything!

[dot.hawkes]

I don;t think she would be able to give you a reference in a professional capacity, she may be willing to give you a personal reference though.

[cazzz1975]

yes I agree with that dot, a professional reference should come from your most recent employer or tutor of any other educational courses you have taken in the last few years

[meglet]

She may not have replied yet for a number of reasons. Are you absolutely sure its the same woman? She may be on holiday, or any number of personal circumstances that may have prevented her from doing it. Its probably just at the bottom of her in tray and she doesn't realise how important it is to you. I would call her after Easter if I were you.

[barneyboo]

I just feel upset about the fact that I haven't got any reply at all (not even a letter in my S.A.E. to say that she feels unable to do it). Since I left school I have been unable to leave the house on foot or walk around our area because I am so terrified of these bullies. I couldn't even bear to think about school or admit that it existed until I wrote for these references. Now I just sort of feel exposed and stupid writing what I have. Perhaps underneath they didn't really like me at all but just humoured me until I left. I don't know why though because as I said I was a good student and never caused any problems. The problems were caused by the bullies.

[barneyboo]

Yes meglet, it is the same person. There was a photo on the website and she looked exactly the same even after all this time.

[cazzz1975]

Give her a phonecall when the council are back at work, either way at least you know the score.

It may help you to get a referral at your doctors to a psychotherapist to help you move through your long term problems with bullying ect, It will do you a power of good.

[bednobs]

tbh 17 years is too long for a reference. She may not even remember you at all, considering the vast amount of people she must have taught. Plus what could she write in it? Even if she remembers you , how would she remember your work? what credence could be given to a reference for your work of 17 years ago anyway. As for a personal referece, she knows nothing about you. You could have been in pison for murder for the last 17 years for all she knows. Even what she does know of you (got bullied, upset, couldnt go out of the house for 17 years) dosent bode all that well for what she could write n a reference.
You must think of another referee