contact

[jackie249]

My child lived with me in Belgium for 4 yrs after our divorce. He as now gone to live with his father in the Uk. When he lived with me he returned to the UK each month at my expense to have weekend contact also shared holidays, that was for the 1st 18month then every other month when my child said he did not want to visit the UK every month, he wanted to go and his father to come here the next month. His father used to pay maintanance that was not a court order but we used the CSA caculator to get the amount. I have now done the same and because it says I pay less then he did he says he can not afford to pay flights for our child. I said ok I will pay for the flights and my cost to visit him the next month,now says he can not afford to take him to the airport. The contact was under a court order for him ex hubby, can I just ask for a varation to the order or because it was his contact order do I have to start again. Or should I give up and just return to the UK. My child does not have any problems with me he was just struggling with school and his father came up with the good idea he goes and lives with him. It all happened over 6 days.

[banjosister]

Hey Jackie,

Do you think he is being difficult or can he really not afford this?

I'm in a similar position. My daughter went to live with her Dad four years ago. Because when my daughter lived with me I wouldn't meet him halfway to collect her he will now not do it for me, even though I earn a lot less than him. In fact he is deliberately difficult, I can't phone home phone have to phone mobile, he's lied left right and centre. I have finally come to terms with the fact that not everyone wants to be reasonable!

I have gone down the variation route around four times and have always been unsuccesful. I have to spend at least �15 per week visiting my daughter before they will reduce my payments. I currently have around �30 per month once I have paid rent, council tax, gas, elec, phone, petrol, shopping. I have no debts, credit cards, loans etc.

Life's a bitch but hey!

BB xx

[jackie249]

BB yes he can afford it, he is on 3 times more money than me. When you day you have tried to vary the contact order. Do you mean the judge would not listen or ur ex would not respect the judgement? I now that my ex will if the courts say send my child. He just a fool would thinks our son is an object and not a person.

[banjosister]

Hey Jackie,

We don't have a contact order. I was talking about a variation through the CSA where if you have high contact costs they will reduce your monthly payment.

It sounds like your ex is deliberatley being difficult.

You need to decide what is best for the child and yourself. I have to drive a 320 mile round trip to have my daughter and back again. She is now 16 and knows that her Dad is the difficult one and knows I will always do whatever I can to make life easier for her. Things are changing now as she doesn't 'need' me quite so much and she would rather spend the majority of her time with her friends, which is a good thing. She is very mature for her age and mostly sees both sides to the story!

He's just trying to make your life difficult, did you leave him? he sounds bitter like mine, it's been years he really should get over it lol.

BB xx

[froggequene]

If you are living in Belgium & your ex and child are in the UK, I think you need to seek legal advice on the visitation & custody issues