I'm Confused dot com

[JanineG]

I've lived with my partner for 4 years and we've discussed the whole marriage and babies thing - deciding that we want both. However, I'm not so sure, and don't think I'm really happy in the relationship in the first place. He's a lovely guy most of the time, but it just doesn't feel like a happy relationship - he's very grumpy at times and tends to sulk when not getting his own way.

It's not just that, and I don't want to come on here just complaining about his downfalls, as none of us are perfect. I'm 34 and he's 42 so really the babies thing will need to happen soon - but I feel like that is a massive commitment to the relationship which I'm not ready to make. I think that if we didn't live together and we were both more independently financially sound, then I would have ended the relationship by now. (don't get the wrong impression though - I'm the main income earner of the house so its not a financial reason to stay together from my point of view).

just wanted to sound off really as I'm very confused! I know it's awful, but sometimes I wish he'd do something terrible like have an affair, so that I could end the relationship without the guilt! I split with a boyf of 8 years previously, and the guilt was overwhelming !

[andy-hughes]

It's obvious you are not happy, and a baby is certainly not going to solve these issues, only add to them.

Why not try Relate, and see if you can get your communication back on track with some professional help. It has to be worth a try - you are in a 'nothing to loose' situation right now.

Have a go, and if it doesn;t work out, then you know this is not right for you, and if you have both beeb conselled, your partner will see it as well.

in an adult relationship, staying there because you don;t want to feel guilty is really not an acceptable reason - you may have to bte the bullet on this one.

You may find your partner is well aware things are wrong, so he may welcome a chance to try and get your relationship back together again.

Good luck.

[Velvetee]

If ou are having these doubts, then you should probably move on. There is no point wasting more years with someone you're not completely committed to, having a child will make it even harder, perhaps impossible to part.

[Jugglering]

Hi Janine... just a few words here... it doesn't sound like you are too much in love with him or crazy about him.... so, please, do not have babies with this guy unless you are prepared to bring them up by yourself.