What's the point?

[{Dakota}]

I was at the hospital visiting my Granny yesterday, she's in a large room that has 8 beds in it, all occupied by old women.

As I sat with my Granny I had a lump in my throat for the duration because all the women were just laying there either sleeping or just staring into space. There was woman having a sleep and her husband sat by her side for an hour or so before leaving.

Is this what we've to look forward to? Here are these women who have led their lives just like you and I and now this is their fate?

[Octavius]

The point is that you live life to the full, so that when you reach this stage of your life you have no regrets.

[4getmenot]

thats life I'm afraid.

[China Doll]

How do you know what they're remembering Dakota, they could be happily reliving their fondest memories or indeed believe they're still living them.

And a husband who just sits quietly by the side of his wife for an hour because she's asleep, that's got to be a love you'd desire.

It's not as hopeless maybe as you think. Also the atmosphere of hospitals is not always contusive to happy thoughts. Octavius is completely correct, you live so that when you reach this age you have lots of things to occupy your mind when lying bored stiff in a hospital bed.

Anyway, not all elderly end up in this state, there's no reason why you should too. Chin up pumpkin.

[4getmenot]

When I used to visit my nan she�d be the one moaning about all the others even though she was same age, she used to make me crack up. She was always in and out but the one thing that killed her in end was pneumonia and she went quite suddenly, from being ok to gone. But that�s the way she wanted, she always said she never wanted to be in a home. I can understand why.

[Scarlett]

I was in hospital for a week with pleurisy and was in the ward with all those old women. If I told you some of the stories of what happened whilst I was in there you would be crying all day- so I won't. Needless to say, when I came out, I wanted to volunteer to come into the hospital and talk to these patients who had no visitors, and to help them eat. SO many of them couldn't undo yoghurt pots, couldn't keep their food on their fork as they were shaking, didn't take their medicine with their meals as they spilt it whilst trying to reach for a spoon. It was just too sad. The hospital sent me a ton of paperwork and specified that it was a proper job (voluntary) and I would have to commit to regular days and times and agree to help in the kitchen and do whatever else they needed me to. I wasn't able to do that, so I ended up not doing the job. But I can't emphasis enough how SAD a place these wards are- and the one I was in had no nurses in- they sat outside in their station playing solitaire on the computer. As I got better, I was the one walking round and chatting to the old women, who wereclearly in there just to die.

I wrote an angry letter to the hospital afterwards telling them what I had seen, and got no reply.

[B00]

Scarlett- how sad!

And how even sadder that the hospital put so many obstacles in your way making it too difficult for you to even volunteer to help. Incredible isn't it? I'd have thought that a simple police check (to make sure you aren't a raving loon!) would suffice, you'd think they'd be grateful for any help wouldn't you?

Hey Dak- Know what you mean, the thought of getting old and infirm terrifies the life out of me, I just hope that if I do ever get infirm that I'm blissfully unaware of it all.

Hope your granny gets better soon.

[{Dakota}]

China, thank you for making me see that they could be happily reliving their youth in their day dreams, I didn't think about it that way.

Scarlett, that's a sad story and I agree with B00, it's sad that the NHS couldn't accept a volunteer to help out as and when she could. I wish there was more people could show as much empathy x

Thank you to everyone else for replying.

I'm still terribly sad about the whole thing though :o(

[stonemonkey]

Hello Dakota
You've reminded me of a wonderful old man who used to help my Mum with her garden, after my Dad had died. To me he was invincible, but when I was 17 he suddenly had two strokes in quick succession. After the first he was fine and raring to get home. After the second he didn't know where he was and lay there staring into space. I cried for days at the injustice of this wonderful human being finishing his life as a drooling, lifeless body. How could anyone so strong end up like that? It's never left me.

I've probably depressed you even more, so I'm sorry for that. What I wanted to add was that when I worked with old people, they only came to life when asked about their youth. Some of their stories were so interesting! I was paid to sit with them and help them with medication and food. It's disgusting that the elderly are left to struggle in hospital.

I hope your Granny recovers soon. xxx