Greivance submitted against me

[Gymbunny]

I had a letter on Friday from our HR department that a greivance has been submitted against me.
This was concerning a matter in May 2006(!) in which a friend of mine left a note of STI's on a post it on my desk about this woman after she had shouted across the office she had to leave the office early for an appointment at the VD clinic.
This woman does have a reputation on the office and neither I nor my friend like her, but once I found the note I disposed of it and told mt friend that she could not leave things like that lying around , no matter what she felt about the woman.
I have now been named in this grievance as having' colluded in writing a note of STi's' when I never had any part in writing it. I am furious about this, as this is the second time this woman has accused me of doing something I have not.The friend who actually wrote the note has now left. She has also been friendly with me for the past 2 years and I have helped her with her worok on several occasions, and she has invited me out on nights out with her for her birthdays etc- I feel totally stabbed in the back.
Can Anyone give me any advice on how to handle this matter as it is making me feel ill, and I am secretly fuming about it and finding it hard not to 'blow up'!?
Oh. and this woman has also accused another guy in the office of sexually harassing her which is ludicrous as she is the one with the reputation and he is also fiuming so much he is asking a solicitor to sue her for libel when this is over as the allegations are completely made up.
Any advice please?
Thanks very much.

[Lil O'lady]

Hi gymbunny
What kind of organisation are you in - a private company, local govt? How well this is dealt with can depend on this, as public organisations have a 'rules book' that they are kept to by the unions. Which brings in the second point, are you in a union, if not get yourself into Unison or similar very quickly. You can literally go down their office and join on the spot. You are being accused of something very serious and need a big buddy to help you. All organisations find it easier to blame the victim if they suspect you will roll over without a fight.
Don't blow up. Write down a timeline of everything that has happened with regards to the office tramp. Show this timeline to your union rep and ask for their advice. Make sure yoou discuss any correspondence or meetings with your managers in advance with your union and be very wary of any last minute calls for 'a quick chat'.
If you are being made to feel ill that is extremely relevant and you should make an appointmant to see your doctor and discuss this asap. This should also be talked thru with your union rep.
Be realistic about the organisation you work for, as even if you win they can be remarkably childish and unforgiving - are they worth the candle in the longer term - start looking now at alternative work to go to when you're ready. These things can rumble on for years. The difference is usually not immediate, but keep your end up and in a year, two years, you look back and it's often the case that things work out well, but it can seem lousy in the short term and you should brace yourself for that.
Hang on in there and best of luck.

[Gymbunny]

Thanks for your answer- I actually work in local government. Luckily, I am in the union and my union rep is involved and will be coming into the office with me. He can't understand this situation at all, the woman in question only put the greivance in towards the end of last year/
This is making me feel ill, but I refuse to go off sick over something I have not done or had no part in- I don't have anything to hide at all!, and I do enjoy my work and love the rest of my colleagues!
Once this matter is resolved, and hopefully I am found to be clear, I may go to a solicitor myself as I feel this is defamation of character.
I have worked in the same office 16 years and have always got on with everybody so I dont know whats wrong with this woman. I think she has serious issues personally, but then again thats my personal opinion and does not count.
Thanks for the advice!

[Whickerman]

Ask to see the proof against you and make it clear you will be mounting a formal defence against the charges. Also make a statement that you will be seeking legal advice over being made ill by having false statements levelled against you and intend suing the company.
As your friend no longer works there, no sanction can be taken against her, so bring her in as a witness that you had no hand, act or part in this.

[helpmetoo]

what is an STI?

[Shaneystar2a]

STI is abbreviation for: Standard Tape Interface

[Postdog]

Sexually transmitted infection!

[thugulike]

Gymbunny, please try and relax and not over react. I understand that you are upset about what has happened but try and not take it personally. I am an investigating officer in local government so I know what you're going through. When she has made her statement the investigating officer will ask you questions about the accusation. Try and answer quietly and objectively. Any complaint has to be investigated but I wonder what her reasons are for waiting so long. Maybe you could ask this? Write a chronology prior to the interview to be sure that everything is written down and you don't forget anything. Make sure that you don't just answer the questions but also have the opportunity to add anything you want to say as many investigators forget that point.
I doubt there is any management conspiracy which some ABers seem to fear, there is a process to be followed, that's all.
Your grievance policy should have a clause about malicious complaints. Use this rather than go to a solicitor. I'm sure that your colleagues will know that you are unlikely to have behaved in such a way so have faith in their friendship.
During the interview remember to take deep breaths as often the people I'm interviewing forget to breath and that affects the oxygen to the brain and their thought processes. Good luck

[buildersmate]

If your employer has any sense it will tell this women that initiating a grievance 21 months after the alleged incident is just ridiculous. An employer cannot possibly investigate an alleged incident when memories have faded is just plain stupid unless there is a good reason why nothing has been said until now or some recent issue has only just come to light.
If I was you, I would put these points to your HR department - there appears to be no case to answer.

[mrs_overall]

Q1 - if the note was disposed of, how does this woman know about it?
Q2 - if she has this note, it is not in your writing, so how can she say it is anything to do with you?

I would start keeping a diary and anytime your accuser puts a foot wrong or says anything that is out of line, write it down.

I don't think you've anything to worry about as regards the allegation, but I know it's infuriating when someone makes a false allegation against you.
Good luck.

[Gymbunny]

Thank you for the sensible advice -most of you!! :-)

[helpmetoo]

sorry i thought STI was some new abbreviation for something in the office,

sadly we work hard in my office and have no time to act immaturely

[Lil O'lady]

helpmetoo - presumably your hard work doesn't prevent you using AB on work time?