some advice please?

[Agent_Smith]

there is a woman i know who is beyond doubt in the need of mental help.

every know and again she goes into a major bad mood and beats the hell out of her partner...he is big enough to look after himself!!

but when she has these "moments" she just sits around the house all day with dos mess on the kitchen floor and the kids clothes resting on top of it, i know this because she lives in a house i rent out and one day i did a house inspection because i was sick of people telling me about the smell of the place, needless to say i threatened an eviction letter unless it was kept at a suitable standard.

any way the main problem...........

a few weeks ago she refused to pick the kids up from school and made her BF (who works for me) come from a job he was on 25 miles away to collect them, he didn't get there till 4.45 (an hour late). the kids are always in a scruffy way of dress and they stink to high heaven of unclean house/dog smell. and they are lovely kids.

her "thing" now is she stays up all night playing bingo on the Internet and makes her BF take the kids to school making him late for work everyday.... i don't care about that, my main concern is the welfare of her kids??

should i keep out of it.... whats your opinion??

BTW.........it would take me a year to type out the things she has done that makes me feel this way?

[Agent_Smith]

PS.... if your wondering why i am using this username... its because if anyone from my neck of the woods read this, they would know who she is??

[4getmenot]

Really nothing you can do, if you were to ring the social these people may never speak to you again and the child may get taken from the dad. He needs to do something if he doesnt its his fault for letting her walk all over him.

[helliebobs]

Hello Agent, I can't really offer much advice but it is always lovely to see you on here :)
I can see your dilema, it does affect you because the man works for you and you own the house but there isn't much you can do yourself except encourage him to get some help and advice?

[unrulyjulie]

Have to agree with helliebobs here agent, not a lot you can do really apart from be a shoulder for the guy.
I do think you have a right to have your house kept in a reasonable manner though so maybe you could approach it from that angle. Maybe the threat of that would make her wake up to a few things.
Good luck on this one, it sounds a bit of a nightmare.
xx

[helliebobs]

Blimey, a bit sensible for me and thee eh Jules? x

[sense4all]

Actually if she has not always been this way I think that she has displayed the kind of dis- association symptoms of clinical depression. I would try to get her partner to go to their family doctor and say he is concerned about her and get the surgery to call her in for a new standard check up ... devious but if she goes and gets helps job done ... I think that most women who have resources do not neglect their kids - you are right to be concerned for the kids welfare. I think that involing the social would make her angry without dealing with the underlying problem.

http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp ?articlekey=18987

[Agent_Smith]

thanks guys for the answers.

not he is not my partner.

my wife has always thought that she is suffering from some kind of post natal depression, they have 2 kids, 8 & 7.

but i like what your saying sense4all!

[sense4all]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles /health/healthmain.html?in_article_id=454942&i n_page_id=1774&ICO=HEALTH&ICL=TOPART

I am with your missus on this one ... the all night bingo is an obsessive behaviour and some depressives can have that kind of fixation, or a series of these fixations. Your employees missus definately needs to have some form of very gently introduced intervention. Even if it's just for himself and the kids his GP needs to be aware. If he goes to a group practice tell him to ask the receptionist if one of the Partners has mental welfare as a speciality.

http://home.comcast.net/~philip.cook/

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/north-east-news /todays-evening-chronicle/tm_objectid=14694146 &method=full&siteid=50081&headline=battered-hu sband-refuge-to-open-name_page.html

not sure if the text no is relevant but ironically the web addy links to a dating site now ... gawd save us.

[Agent_Smith]

nice one sense................. and if i forget, happy birthday for next week!!!!!